WARNING: THIS IS AN EXTREMELY LONG POST! So B3AW successfully negotiated a workout challenge for January. Below is the email negotiation from 12/30 - 1/1 to make it a reality. Enjoy!
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From: Brad
To: Ed, Marc
Sent: Thu, December 30, 2010 11:36:13 AM
Subject: The goal is pain
Marc & Ed,
I’m going to start with the punch line…I’m a fata$$ and I’m pissed about it. I haven’t worked out in 2.5 months, have gained over 10 pounds and have no good excuse for letting it happen. Obviously I need a little motivation and I want to see if you are interested and want some motivation as well. Here’s the game…
30 in 30 for B3aW
The goal is to do 30 minutes in 30 days of something exercise related (pain of actually exerting oneself) in January. The definition is a loose one so could be running, bike trainer, but could also be shoveling or stacking wood. Do whatever you want that gets you a little lathered up. Since there are 31 days in January you get one “free” day. Time doesn’t roll over from one day to the next so if you do 1 hour one day you don’t get the next day off. The goal is getting off the couch and out of the office chair every single day and doing something.
You get a point for each day you get it done, 0 points for each day you don’t. At the end of the month we compare scores. $1 dollar is owed for each point you are lower than your competition (pain of losing). So if Ed gets 26 points and I get 18, I owe Ed $8.
Payment is required in crisp one dollar bills mailed with a 1 page handwritten single space letter thanking your competitor for taking your money (who here actually writes? that’s pain). If payment is not received by February 15th, the payment requirement is doubled (pain X2).
The person with the lowest total of the three of us has to blog sometime February 1st – 10th about why they lost and why they suck (pain of having to explain your own failure). Failure to do so timely will open the door for the other two to take that liberty for you (probably more pain than doing yourself). Since the goal is us actually doing it and not failing, the blog shame will only take place if the lowest score is below 25.
I have attached a very complicated tracking document, if you need help understanding it let me know. Of course this is self reporting so if you cheat nobody will know. The only downside is you will only have to lay your head on the pillow each night for the rest of eternity knowing that you cheated to avoid paying a family member $1 (pain fo’ sho’).
SO WHO IS IN?????????????
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From: Marc
To: Ed, Brad
I'm in, because I'm so fat that typing on Facebook is enough to get me lathered up these days so I shouldn't have any problem getting in 30 minutes a day.
What happens if we end the month 30/30/30?
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From: Ed
To: Brad, Marc
Marc, Brad,
I'm ready to kick off this thing but wanted to offer some proposed amendments to said competition.
I would propose that a total of seven points be awarded each week (one half point for each day) and that one accumulates points on a weekly basis with carryover counting for that week only. Each of us can work out daily, or as little as 3 times weekly to accumulate the necessary 3 1/2 hours of workout time each week. No carryover would be allowed beyond each week.
So, if I worked out 3 times for 3 hours I would receive six points for the week. Marc works out 5 times in a week for a total of 6 hours so would receive the maximum 7 points. Brad works out only 2 times for a total of 7 hours so would receive no points for that week (penalty for not working out at least 3 times each week).
Got it? I just want to be able to go to the gym 3-5 times per week rather than have to work out every day for at least one half hour. If you two are agreeable, we start the proposed on January 1.
Great idea Brad. Thanks to both of you yahoos since you both know that sibling rivalry is one of the best motivators any of us could ask for ... well, at least me!
P.S. Brad is calling himself a fat ass and weighs 182 pounds. I haven't weighed that amount since I was in college! Me? Yeah, I stepped on to Mom and Dad's scale and it read 210! Yeah, 210! Lets hope that Mom and Dad scale is shotty!!!
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From: Brad
To: Ed, Marc
So if your goal is to work out at the gym, why do you have a treadmill and a bike trainer in your basement? Perhaps you could sell those to pay your debt to me when I win the competition?
Define week? M-Sun, Sun-Sat? What do we do with the odd days like 1/1 and 1/2, and 1/31 if you choose a M-Sun week? I don’t see a revised tracking form?
I’m in on this deal, but I think the point system is unclear.
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From: Brad
To: Ed, Marc
3.5 miles in 32 minutes outside with Scout. Getting a headstart on competition in January!
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From: Marc
To: Ed, Brad
Show off.
You two OCHS advanced math geniuses figure out the details on the scoring. Ed, you lost me when you said 7 points a week (1/2 point per day). I realize I took the minimum amount of required math to graduate from high school in the state of Iowa, but that's Al Gore math.
The question is whether or not the goal is to work out for 3.5 hours per week or to work out every day. I'm fine either way.
Although I didn't manage to do any exercise today, I did some prep work. I'm the proud owner of some windproof/waterproof foot booties and a skull cap. Although I'm enjoying the trainer, I don't intend to spend the entire winter riding inside. Tomorrow is day one, and I will be riding in the glorious 45 degree weather.
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From: Ed
To: Marc, Brad
Ok you yahoos, my proposed amendments are very easy. Even a skater boy from OCHS should be able to figure it out. Work out 3.5 hours per week and spread that workout time over at least three days. Failure to meet these requirements and you get no points for that week. You get a maximum of 7 points a week (1 point for each 1/2 hour of work out) got it?
I've attached a suggested modification of the infamous spreadsheet, color coded for each week (or partial week) and in appropriate black and gold colors in honor of the Hawk win.
I worked out today (1/2 hour of elliptical, 1 hour of lifting) and weighed myself officially at 206 pounds! That's a heavyweight right? Starting tomorrow I'll be on the bike trainer, and also be spending time in the gym working out as my kids need to be dropped off and picked up there regularly.
See you sucka's on the other side of January as a LIGHT heavyweight! GAME ON!
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From: Marc
To: Ed, Brad
I had an epileptic seizure after looking at your spreadsheet for five seconds. I'll keep my own; it looks like this:
1 Y 35
2
3
4
etc
You two rocket scientists are sucking my will to live. I rode the trainer tonight since I didn't make it out again today. I'll make it out tomorrow if it kills me!
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From: Brad
To: Ed, Marc
Oh Marc I feel terrible for you, it was 10 degrees with 30 mph winds and I went for a 3.5 mile trail run on the ice and snow. Hope you didn’t strain yourself in that chilly 68 degree weather on your trainer.
Glad to see Ed’s getting out of his comfort zone. An hour of lifting probably means kegs of Heineken in which case Marc you should plan on a call in about 3 hours.
So everyone is 1-1. We’ll see how we’re doing about the 12th of the month.
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From: Marc
To: Ed, Brad
Brad, too bad you didn't work in 14 more point columns into the spreadsheet that calculate wind speed, temperature, humidity, trail condition, elevation, fabric choice, and shoe color. That way you could have earned extra points for doing things that are as difficult as possible (like wearing heavy cotton clothes, instead of moisture-wicking). Oh, and time of day, because if you do it at 0430 that's even better! After all, it fits in perfectly with today's fitness trends: the more painful, weird, or awkward it is, it must be better for you, right?
Ed, just a word of advice: quit watching Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone movies. If you "bulk up" you're actually going to gain weight, and make your cardio even more difficult. Reverse your numbers. Do an hour of cardio and a half hour of lifting with minimal breaks (so that you keep your heart rate up).
I need to get a scale. I know I'm at around 200 right now...
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From: Brad
To: Ed, Marc
Thanks for pointing that out Marc. Considering the Greg Luganis difficulty scale I have a correction: I’ve got 137 points so far! And take it easy on Ed. You know the chicks at the YMCA dig it when a middle age guy bounces the bench bar on his chest like he’s convulsing so that the dimes on each side rattle on the bar. If that doesn’t get Ed in a lather I don’t know what will!
I’m thinking about doing my run on my hands and blindfolded today to increase the difficulty. What do you guys think?
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From: Ed
To: Marc, Brad
Marc,
Once you've recovered from your epileptic seizure that was more likely a sugar rush from those eight Krispy Kreme donuts you ate, I have just a few remaining questions related to your proposed v3 spreadsheet. I do so in the spirit of Brad's desire for me to adjust the spreadsheet, see reference and footnote email 1.29.2010.34.206.21. Please respond in proper format to each of these direct questions:
• Your spreadsheet only goes through day four, what then?
• I'm assuming the Y is for Yes?
• What does etc stand for?
• What happens if you have one workout that bridges between days?
• How do the points add up?
• Does your week start on Thursday, Saturday, or the prior Tuesday before last weeks election?
• What if you wear cotton and Brad wears wicking and I wear a cotton/poly blend?
• What if you work out at 2,000 feet of elevation, Brad works out at 1,500, and I work at 500? Does that mean you get more points and what is the formula?
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From: Ed
To: Marc, Brad
Dimes, are you kidding? Dimes and nickels baby, dimes and nickels. More coins on that bar than in the US mint! And I'm sporting my Hawkeye gear so that they know I'm not a Tiger chump. Who are you two to be questioning my exercise credentials ... I'm already down to 205 and 7/8 pounds.
Kickin' it in KC,
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From: Marc
To: Ed, Brad
I just got back from a one hour MTB ride which I will hereafter refer to as Slogfest 2011. It was so muddy that it was more akin to sledding: I had to basically walk up hill all the time (even a 3% incline was too slippery to maintain speed) and I had little or no steering control going downhill (I just tried to stay on top of the bike and avoid slamming into trees). But all in all, it was a hell of a workout since even on the flats it was like riding three times the distance (spin spin spin), kind of like running in deep sand. There was so much mud on my bike when I got home that after I hosed it off in the driveway it looked like I had a load of dirt delivered to the house. The good news is that I had dry feet when I got home and I was nice and toasty.
That's two points for me fellas.
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