What's Your Greatest Accomplishment?

I've been in job search for a while now, and a common interview question is to ask what your greatest professional accomplishment(s) are.  Because of my experience being the interviewer and the interviewee, I'm always prepared with those accomplishments in my past experience that I derived the most satisfaction from, and that delivered the most value to my employer.

But what about in your personal life?  Do you have accomplishments personally that are equivalent to or exceed what you've accomplished professionally?

And further, think about why you consider any accomplishment (professional or personal) so gratifying.  In my case, I'm judging the magnitude of my accomplishment in terms of:

• the value derived, for someone else AND for me
• how hard the achievement was to achieve, the challenge was really big
• those that participated in the achievement, I achieved it in collaboration with others

So do I have personal accomplishments that exceed my professional ones?

Absolutely.

If you have a 'life' portion to a 'work/life' balance then I suspect this should be the case.  Because in most cases (not all, but most) professional accomplishments revolve around business success.  And the measuring stick to business success is typically making money.  And while making money and being a part of a successful business is gratifying, I'm not sure it 'rings the bells' on the achievement scale I've created above to the degree a personal accomplishment can.

So when I think about life accomplishments the single accomplishment that far exceeds anything else that I've achieved in life is ...

BEING A GOOD SPOUSE TO MY WIFE, AND A GOOD FATHER TO MY KIDS.

Now you might say that's two accomplishments not one, but the two are so inextricably intertwined that I beg to differ.

There are so many admirable pursuits in life, personal and professional. Write a book. Climb a mountain.  Give your life as a sacrifice to your country. Invent or discover something. Become the best in your profession. These are the accomplishments we hold up as a society, and create statues and memorials to never be forgotten.

I do admire those who accomplish these things.  But for me the accomplishment I'm most proud of also points out what I value the most in others.

I've been a good spouse and good dad.  Not great, but good.  Because clearly there are things I regret. And there are lots of things I could have done different.  Or better, much better.  But that's also part of the value obtained, learning from your mistakes. And I also value loyalty, and loyalty comes in the form of commitment to your family - those who loved and raised you.  Those you love and raise.  Ones who cared first, when others didn't.  And persistence.  Persistence (some people refer to GRIT as a slightly different version of this) is also admirable.  Not giving up when your chips are down. Family can be hard.  Lots of emotion and passion that can be divisive in relationships.  But it can also be the most valuable.  I've been told that relationships are doomed when one no longer cares.  As long as I care, expressed as anger, disappointment, disgust, etc. there is hope.  But when I no longer care, the relationship is doomed. Well suffice to say I care about my family, and they care about me.  

And finally, paying it forward.  This has become a coined phrase that is over-said and under-used. Serve others in a way that makes the world a better place.  And who better to do this with than your own children?  They will be in this world long after I'm gone.  And I entrust our collective future more to them than anyone on the planet.  So best to invest in that future right?  Spending time with your kids, educating them, telling them of your successes and failures, and encouraging them to explore their own.  That's parenting, and I'm so proud of what Holly and I have achieved.  Our kids have made us proud, and I expect they will continue to - only further increasing the value derived from our investment!  But I recognize that my greatest accomplishment is unfinished and undone.

So why is our world today filled with accomplishment outside of being a good spouse and parent? Why is this accomplishment so undervalued in today's world?  I don't have the answer but it is a question very worthy of pondering.  Several thoughts rush into my head, all worthy of argument and debate.

But we need to get back to valuing the accomplishments of being a good spouse and good parent again.  Akin to the other accomplishments we value in life, as a society we must once again value these traits in people.

I've personally fallen prey to judging my success in life (and derived happiness) based on my professional achievements.  Forgetting about success in my personal life I've instead focused on my professional accomplishments of working for a great company, my job title, my job responsibility and what I earn.  And I've gotten down when unemployed and not able to invest in these pursuits.

Make no mistake being a success in your profession is important - but not nearly as so as being a good spouse and parent - at least not in my opinion.

So whenever the accomplishment question comes up in a job interview, my thoughts turn to what I'm really most proud of, and everything else at that point in time that I share with the interviewer seems incredibly minute and inconsequential in comparison.