Destiny ...

One of my favorite grammatical shortcuts is the …  

You’ll find it regularly in my blog posts.  It’s one way to let the story end itself and give the reader latitude to write their own script and add their own twists.  I only wish there was a way that … could be deployed in real life. 

You see, I’m a bit of a control freak.  Some would say that’s a bit like calling the Pope a bit Catholic.  Ok, so I like control.  Don’t most people?  See, my defense mechanism is already kicking in.  But that’s why I struggle with terms like fate and faith – and destiny.  The idea that something greater than me is at work. 

I’m getting reacquainted with God for lots of reasons, really.  The first is that this is one of the biggest regrets Holly and I have as parents of our children.  That we didn’t expose them enough to God, religion and church.  So we’re trying to make up for lost ground.  Another reason is that we have fallen on challenging times.  With the loss of our primary income it’s put a lot of strain on the family.  Not outward strain, internal strain.  It’s a well known fact that people show more religious tendencies when going through challenging times.  Poor people are more religious than the rich, unemployed more than the employed, and broken families more than stable ones.  You get the point.  And one final reason for getting closer to God is I’m getting older.  Not old mind you, but older.  Not wiser either, just older.  I don’t feel infallible anymore. 

So back to the point I’ve thought more about my purpose in life in the last six months than I have in the last two decades.  And I’m no closer to the answer.  Frustrating as I so badly want to know my purpose and just get on with it.  Regardless of how humbling or challenging my purpose might be I just want to know.  That’s the crazy thing about fate, faith and destiny.  God knows it but you don’t.  You may think you do and then something happens.  Something big.  And you find yourself wandering and questioning why you are lost once again.  Well I’m getting too old for this shit. 

But that’s God’s way, or so I’ve been told.  Open your heart, open your mind, and let him guide and direct you.  Don’t become inanimate, but don’t fight it either.  There is a reason for the struggle, a reason for the strife, and you will come out of it stronger. 

I’m trying real hard to put my faith in God.  I do believe in him, that he has already written my book and I’m simply turning the pages.  Trying to write my own script, my own ending.

I’ve learned a lot over the past six months and yet I feel I now know less than I did before.  Less confident, not nearly as bold.  But maybe that’s what He wanted.

Until my purpose becomes clear, I’m just going to keep reading … 

Trisha Hall got skill!

I couldn't agree more on the idea of photography and talent. My slight spin on the topic is that most people mistake volume for talent. Spend some cash on a camera and take a shit ton of bad pictures of your ugly pets and all of the sudden you're Ansel Adams that is over-qualified to bore the extended family to death at gatherings.

Trish got perhaps the same auspicious start. As a stay at home Mom, she wanted to take good pictures of her kids. But unlike most people, she actually had some talent and focused on developing a skill. She took classes, and she practiced. Practice doesn't mean just taking pictures. It means a methodical process of taking pictures and learning from the process. Not unlike other finely honed skills, she learned from her mistakes, identified what worked and what didn't, and experimented with different settings.

Combine focused effort and good talent and you get an amateur photographer who actually creates a beautiful product. And that's why we asked Trish to take our family pictures, and we couldn't be happier with the result.

While a minimal level of talent is required, Malcolm Gladwell writes in his book Outliers that the separator of expertise is a very high threshold of practice. So while I may not be a gifted writer or journalist, this blog is a great place for me to practice! So maybe I can some day write songs or craft a best seller.

I Got Skill

I could go on about this one, but I’m going to cut to the chase so that I can get this on the street.  But first let me apologize in advance for any feelings that I may hurt…  I'm sorry!

I’ve known literally dozens of women who have decided in the past couple of years that their new career would be photography.  Let me start backpedaling already and admit that a couple of them have a legitimate eye for photography, but most of them have about as much talent for photography as I have for piano composition.

Here’s the bottom line:  Buying $3000 worth of camera equipment doesn’t make you anymore of a photographer than a $3 million Stradivarius makes you a violinist.  Why does everyone think they can make money being a photographer?  It’s not the only field where this general assumption about “professional” level of skill is ubiquitous.  Graphic design is another one.  Just because you know how to use the “insert picture” function on Microsoft Word, you are NOT a graphic artist.  And yes, I’ll hit closer to home: just because you have a blog it doesn’t mean you’re a journalist!

I’ve seen some very good photography from self-proclaimed “professional photographers”.  In fact, this subject came up in the first place when I asked you, Brad, about who took the recent pics of your family, in particular the girls.  They looked really nice, so nice that I asked if you had them taken by a professional.   She’s really good!  We have a dear friend in Maryland whose photography is amazing to me.  She is so talented, and she has an eye for it.  Did she go to school for it?  No.  In fact, she was a grade school teacher who picked up photography after she decided to stay home to raise her kids.  She’s managed to be very successful in the photography business.

It can be done, but I would say that a very small percentage of the population can actually succeed for any length of time in their new photography business.  Most will last about a year, which is how long it takes for the initial business from close friends and family to run out. 

Now I feel like a jerk.  Eh.  I’ll be over it tomorrow.

Marc on Livestrong

Ed, I agree with most of what you said about Armstrong.  Regardless of whether or not he doped, you don’t dominate the sport like he did without working harder than everyone else.  It’s not like you can sit at home on your ass, ride your bike for an hour a four days a week,  get a blood transfusion, and win the Tour de France.  Still, it’s a bummer to think that Lance felt he needed that extra push.

Jennifer asked me why doping was so prevalent in cycling.  I couldn’t really give a good answer, although I postulated that it’s because cycling doesn’t involve much skill, so it levels the playing field more than other sports.  What I mean by that is that yes, muscle and power helps you on the football field, but you have to bring a lot more to the table than that.  You need to have a good deal of skill to read defenses, read offenses, instincts to follow the play, etc.  And a high level of skill is required for nearly all sports.  Biking doesn’t seem like it to me.  So maybe it’s log-jammed at the top and everybody is looking for that edge, because you can only train so many hours a day, right? 

Your point about remembering not to “iconify” people is well taken.  I’ve always joked that I’ll never be able to run for President or even Congress, because by the time the media drags all of my skeletons out of the closet I’m through!  People are people and everybody’s got junk.  Of that much I’m sure.

LIVESTRONG

The "look back" by Armstrong was one of the greatest moments in all sport, up there with Babe Ruth calling his shot, MJ draining the winning shot over Byron, and Doug Flutie's infamous hail mary.  All you can say when you watch these highlights over and over is .... WOW!

Marc, your post raises some really interesting questions.   I want to compare Armstrong's fall from grace with a couple of other "fallen" as a point of reference.  

What I'm trying to get at is whether punishments handed out in sport ever seem sufficient and appropriate.  All seem hollow in one way or another, at least to me.  

Example #1:

Penn State - The University employed a pedophile and then others employed by the university refused to address it.  The "reasonable person" clearly would have done something to report and address this terrible series of crimes.  

Penalty - Removal of wins for nearly a decade, a 60 million dollar fine, loss of scholarships and then a bunch of other smaller penalties.  Interestingly in this case Penn State didn't get the "death penalty" for their football program, and I saw lots of Penn State fans in Kinnick Stadium on Saturday for their thumping of the Hawks.

Example #2:

Michael Vick - He owned a private dog fighting ring and bred dogs to fight, sometimes to death but more often to serious injury - all for money.  

Penalty - Jail time, suspension from the game of football, and probably a fine which I can't recall.  He is currently a starting quarterback in the NFL with a multi-million dollar contract once he had "served his time".  Oh, and the interesting twist on this one?  He now owns a dog as a pet.  Man's best friend right?

Example #3:

Lance Armstrong - Now his case.  I don't know all the details of the accusations and the due process to prove his temporary innocence and now assumed guilt.  

Penalty - Titles removed.  No jury (I know because Armstrong refused) and a process that Armstrong openly stated was frustrating and not fair.  I don't know all he went through, but I know it was a lot.  

So, are the penalties in each of these cases appropriate?  I've picked some of the most colored ones just as a point of reference.  Without question Lance's cheating is the least offensive of the examples I've named.  His doping didn't hurt anyone but him, his foundation and his legacy.  

But in my opinion penalties of removals of titles, wins, etc. are hollow.  And if you finished second in any of the Tours Lance won, congratulations.  How's that feel?  No better I suspect.  

And if I were head of any organization responsible for keeping the sport of cycling clean from doping, international or American, I would declare a death penalty on the whole sport.  Everyone.  All races.  And then I would figure out whether to allow doping and let these cyclists all be on a more level playing field.  Because once thing about this case is clear.  

No one has control over doping in the sport of cycling.  Nobody.  Maybe that should be Lance Armstrong's next legacy.  He can be the poster child for cleaning his beloved sport up!  

I'm a Lance Armstrong fan and always will be.  He was the best cyclist ever - period.  

And while the report that he doped has irreparably damaged his legacy, it doesn't diminish what he accomplished.  Recovering from near death cancer and ascending to the top of the sport with an attitude and fearlessness that made all other riders (including several others that doped) look like amateurs.  I'm just sad that his legacy has come down to this.  

Guess it could mean we shouldn't hold great athletes in as high regard as we do.  The "whole person" argument stands up a little better with Armstrong than it does other sports icons I have always admired, but he's still got lots of skeleton's in his closet on the personal side as well.  

  

I'm not sure what to think

Well, that's not technically true.  I do know what to think, but for some reason my gut wants to fight it.

Another sports hero has fallen off the pedestal.  I tend to agree with Nike when they say that there is "seemingly insurmountable evidence" that Lance Armstrong was doping during his seven year reign at the top of the sport.  It's really sad.

Is it still amazing that he came all the way back from near death to cancer, there's no doubt about that.  But he was a doper like seemingly everyone else in the sport of cycling.  So I guess that makes him just like everybody else.  He's not special anymore.  I don't WANT to believe that he's not special, but what do you do with all the members of his team that have come forward about all the doping stuff?  You could mentally dismiss one guy who claimed it when he himself had been busted for doping (Floyd Landis) but I can't dismiss 11 former teammates saying the same things.  And these aren't no names who are trying to make some quick money.  They are guys still racing who put a lot on the line to testify.  Tyler Hamilton, Levi Leipheimer, George Hincapie, etc.  It makes sense now that Floyd Landis was so devastated by his doping conviction.  He was probably pissed, wondering how Armstrong got away with it for so long and then he got caught.

In the end I know that Armstrong will always be able to say that he never tested positive on a drug test. Does that mean he was just a really good cheater?

I know he's done amazing things in the realm of cancer awareness and research.  I really hope all this stuff doesn't damage that part of his legacy.  His is still an amazing cancer recovery story.

I guess I'm just a little bummed.  One of my absolute favorite, and maybe THE favorite moment in sports was "the look" that Armstrong gave Ullrich on the L'Alpe-d'Huez in 2001.  It has given me chills every time I watched it in the last 10 years.  It's diminished a bit now.

What do you guys think?  Are you writing him off completely?

You're either all in or you're out

I was all fired up, and then Ed stole a bunch of my thunder!  No worries though, I’ve still got some fire in my belly.

First, I agree with Ed that we need to first separate professional sports into a category all its own.  Maybe you can include college athletics as well, because as you both well know, I consider college to be the minor leagues for professional sports.  When you start talking about professional sports, you are talking about money, and that changes everything. 

Winning = money, and that bottom line drives a lot of the really poor behavior that you see on the athlete’s side as well as in the fans.  Fans feel entitled too, as if the team owes them something.  When you’re paying thousands of dollars for season tickets to watch a team that sucks and loses all the time, you probably get frustrated and that inevitably will start manifesting itself in behavior toward the refs, the coach, and the players. 

At the professional level there are some good examples, but for every good example, there is a bad one.  For every Mike Tomlin there is a Rex Ryan, for every Peyton Manning there is a Phillip Rivers, for every Troy Polamalu there is a Terrell Suggs (okay, I’m a little biased on that one), and for every Larry Fitzgerald there is a Plaxico Burress.  You get the picture.  In the end even if you’re mean and nasty, if you can still play ball with the best of them you can get away with whatever insane or inappropriate behavior that you choose.  Two examples come immediately to mind for me.  First is Ray Lewis, and yes, I’m the president and CEO of the Ray Lewis Hater Club.  He got away with murder (quite literally in my book) and was voted Superbowl MVP the following year.  What’s an obstruction of justice conviction in a double homicide investigation when you can still knock people’s teeth out on the football field??  The other example is Michael Vick.  He ran an illegal interstate dog fighting ring for five years and was convicted of federal felony charges.  He tortured and executed dogs.  But hey, the man can still throw the rock, so he recently signed a six-year, $100 million contract.  I know I’m not saying anything you don’t already know, but the bottom line in professional sports is performance on the field (or court).  “Good guys” have it a little easier, but even the “bad guys” will eventually find someone who will pay them (i.e. Dennis Rodman, Terrell Owens).  So, professional sports is not about sportsmanship (although you do still see flashes of it).

Youth sports.  Oh lordy where do I begin?  This is one of the few reasons that I’m glad that I don’t have kids.  From what little I know, youth sports is a tragic mess.  And I’m not going to say that it’s all gone bad in the past 10-15 years.  I remember coaching 5^th grade basketball when I was in highschool and they didn’t even keep score.  But I know for a fact that the parents were keeping score in the stands, and I know for a fact that some of the parents were mad at me, especially when I benched the best kid on my time because he wouldn’t pass the ball.  He would shoot every time that he touched it. 

Sportsmanship aside, my frustration with kids and sports is that there is no room for kids to learn anymore, or simply play for the exercise or recreation.  Just like everything else in our society, it’s ALL OR NOTHING.  You are simply not allowed to be no good anymore.  I can remember my first year in Midwest after pee wee league.  I played for Tim’s Tropical Fish, and when I say played, I mean sat on the end of the bench and watched.  To this day I remember how that felt as an 11-year-old (or close to it).  Ed, you bring up a good point about separating competitive leagues from recreational leagues.  With kids, rec leagues should be mandatory equal playing time, REGARDLESS of talent level.

What I can’t quite figure out is how much of the problem with kids and sports comes from the parents.  My first instinct is to say that MOST of it comes from the parents.  Ed provided the perfect example; the PARENTS are the ones making the phone calls to try to finagle a “better” team.  Sixth grade?  Are you serious?  In sixth grade Dad was still trying to get us to keep our hands up on defense and dribble with our opposite hand!  Maybe my memory is skewed, but I don’t have any recollection of wins or losses in sixth grade. 

I’ve said it a million times but I’ll say it again:  People want to blame TV and video games for obesity in children, but I put as much blame on the fact that kids just can’t play sports for fun anymore.  If you’re kid wants to play a sport, he/she better be good at it, because there’s no room for kids who are just doing it for fun.  You have to be “all in”.  For example, it cracks me up when I hear about second grade soccer teams that have practice three times a week and then a game every weekend.  To quote Allen Iverson, “We talkin’ ‘bout practice man.”  Practice?  Do second graders really need to spend eight hours a week playing soccer?  What if you just want to play soccer for two hours a week?  Sorry, you’re not all in, so you’re out.  I can still hear Dad saying, “Everything in moderation,” and it was one thing that I’ll keep with me always.  As incredibly wise as that is, it goes against everything in our culture these days, our culture of extreme, ultimate, epic, humongous, and super.  You’re either all in, or you’re out.

Gosh, I haven’t even touched on the money part of kids athletics yet!  Remember the good ole days when $5 got you a t-shirt, one game, and one practice per week?  I have too many friends that are going broke trying to fund their kids’ athletic endeavors.  Maybe you’ve experienced this one Ed!  Why do 8-year-olds have to have complete matching pick-your-sport uniforms with gear bags and a trip halfway across the country to play in some tournament?  It’s ridiculous, and it prevents lots of kids from participating in sports.  LOTS of kids.  But hey, let’s blame Xbox, because it’s a lot easier than adults having to evaluate their own motives when it comes to kids sports.

Why’d you have to bring this up Brad???  I need to take a walk and cool down!