Marc on Man in the Mirror

I'm sure that I haven't done as many assessments as you have, Ed, but I have done a few like the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). Although we don't spend a lot of time on this kind of thing in the Navy, we do touch on them during our leadership training continuum.

As a Navy leadership training continuum facilitator from 2001 - 2003 I used to do the MBTI with my students as well as a tool to measure decision making tendencies (I love the Vroom decision-making model). But I was very cautious in talking about the APPLICATION of these tools. There are a couple of directions, neither of them preferable, that you an go in with tools like this. First, you can say, "Wow, that's interesting," and then ignore all of it. Second, you can say, "Wow, I'm like that? That's bad. I need to change that."

But Ed hit the nail on the head. These assessments are meant to help your self-awareness. I'm not saying that no one should ever to change. I'll avoid a foray into the virtues of continual self-improvement, since I don't think that any of us would argue against that concept. Self awareness is about knowing your own strengths and weaknesses, tendencies and aversions. When you know, for example, that you have a tendency make decisions authoritatively, but a group decision making style is more appropriate to the current situation, then you can pause, check your tendency due to your AWARENESS of it, and choose the best method.

So I agree, awareness is the key. Now let's talk about human relations.

Here's one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books (Wind, Sand, and Stars by Antoine De Saint-Exupery): "We forget that there is no hope of joy except in human relations. If I summon up those memories that have left with me an enduring savor, if I draw up the balance sheet of the hours in my life that have truly counted, surely I find only those that no wealth could have procured me. True riches cannot be bought... it is not money that can procure for us that new vision of the world won through hardship - those trees, flowers, women, those treasures made fresh by the dew and color of life which the dawn restores to us, this concert of little things that sustain us and constitute our compensation."

Human relations is what matters!

Emotional intelligence is managing your own emotions, and the thing that brings about the strongest human emotions, the stuff that people write books, music, operas (and blogs) about, is interaction with other humans. I can't think of a business in the world that doesn't involve human interaction. Yes, in any business the numbers are the most important, but it's often the human interaction that can sway a deal one way or another. I'm sitting here watching "In Good Company" and just watched the scene where the advertising agency takes one of their clients to see in concert in their VIP suite. That's really why companies pay for those things. They want to have a strong human relations bond to complement their business deals. There is no business model that can replace it.

I think the best leaders in the world are able to make an emotional connection with people. They understand how important HUMAN relations are to our lives. Some people call it charisma, but that's just a fancy word for human relations.

But forget business. The bigger question is whether or not we are able to recognize our tendencies and aversions and recognize them to improve the human relations that matter most, those with our family and friends.