Baseball still sucks

Okay, so the prosecution claims that baseball is boring. Defense offers rebuttal testimony. Let me summarize the defense as presented by the law firm of Baldwin and Baldwin:

1. Other sports are lame, too.
2. A guy wrote a poem about baseball in 1888.
3. Other people are overpaid too.
4. People in other sports get fat too.
5. If you go to a baseball game, you don't HAVE to watch it because there is other stuff to do instead.
6. Baseball is really old.

Wow, nice defense fellas. With those six powerhouse arguments, how could anyone say baseball is boring (insert facetiousness here)???

I would gladly take you up on the Federer/Lintecum challenge!

The "in play" area for a professional baseball field would be right around 100,000 square feet. Now, you even tried to restrict me by saying that I have to get the ball into the outfield (nice ploy by the way) but even then, I've probably still got about 85,000 square feet to work with. To my benefit, I will be standing in a batter's box and Timmy boy has to throw the ball over the 17" wide piece of rubber in front of me, and he must throw it somewhere in between my knees and my elbows. How fast can he throw? 100 mph? That's pretty fast. The good news is that I don't have much space to cover with my bat. Looking at the odds, if I just do a half swing every pitch I'll hit the ball occasionally.

Now let's consider your task: returning a Federer serve "in play". Let's start with the service box. Roger has a lot more room to work with in chucking a ball at you. All he has to do is make the ball land somewhere within a 21' x 13' 6" box. You're probably not very good with math, so I'll help you out. You need to cover 280+ square feet if you're looking to get a whack at that green fuzzy. To complicate matters, Mr. Federer has 13' 6" of side to side space to choose his service spot. That's a lot of angles. Oooooh, did I mention that his average serve speed is 120mph? Oh gosh, I'm so sorry… just one more thing. If you do manage to get a racket on it, you will need to return it somewhere in the 1053 square feet of court on Federer's side as opposed to the roughly 100,000 square feet that I have to work with.

Back to your little ploy of requiring that I hit to the outfield. I assume that you mentioned that because any infield ball would be a definite out. If that's the standard you would like to use, then I would like to simply ask that your return of Federer's service be of a sufficient speed and placement so that his subsequent hit doesn't knock you unconscious. Fair enough?

What's next? Hockey? Bring it on boys. I'll be here all week.