The Age of the Self

We now live in an age of idolatry of the Self. We have persuaded ourselves that first and foremost we live to realize our own Selves for our own good. Having made the Self the central concern and value in our lives, we should not be surprised if self-centered behaviors have become more prevalent than altruistic ones. We shouldn't be surprised if civility has suffered. The more we focus on our Selves and our self-gratification, the less moral energy we have available to spend on others and the less attuned we are to others' well-being. We emerged from the upheaval of the 1960s and '70s with a stronger belief in the decency of equality and the goodness of freedom. What many of us are learning or relearning now is the essential role that self-control plays in the lives of democracies. The emphasis on individual rights and entitlements in advanced democracies makes self-control particularly relevant to us. It is in part to prevent the massive intervention of government and the law in our everyday lives that we are expected to develop a civil discipline. As a system of self-regulation, civility assures the survival of self-determination. It is nothing less than the life-blood of democracies.

Choosing Civility by P.M. Forni