Ed on Sexualizing Kids

This is a really important issue, and one where it is really easy to find polarizing sides. But in the interest of dialogue and discussion I'm going to share my perspective. I would preface it by saying that it is a conservative view.

I recognize the differences in how generations perceive these changes. Young generations say it isn't any different than when in the 60's women quit wearing bras, or how skirt lengths have shortened in booming economic cycles. Tattoo's used to be taboo, earrings for men were only if you were gay, blah, blah, blah. The evolution of what is acceptable to wear, what is acceptable to say, and what is acceptable to do has continued to widen. Inhibition and social restriction has been reduced substantially in our "I can do whatever I want" age.

Now I'm for free speech, free expression and independence. But that doesn't mean that I will let my children go unrestrained and uneducated about the consequences of taking full advantage of that independence. I don't think kids today (wow, that sounds old) realize the perceptions that others have of them, perceptions that are hard to change, when they choose to wear what they do, act how they act, and say what they say. For every one's sake, lets hope they "grow out of it". But I don't think they will. I don't think they will because they aren't be educated about the consequences of their actions. Eventually maybe they will, but by then it will be too late.

Holly and I have tried to instill in our kids strong self perception, and a solid recognition that others will form opinions about you based on your actions, your words, and how you act. If you dress like a slut, look and talk like a thug, or treat people disrespectfully then others will forge an impression of you as just that. If, on the other hand, you treat others with respect and act in a respectful and gracious fashion, they will also form a first impression of you but one that will be positive. It works both ways!

Holly and I can't change the world or what others teach their kids, but we certainly can have a significant impact on what our kids do, who they hang out with, and what they wear. And it's our responsibility as their parents to educate them regarding the importance of the decisions they make.

And I'm happy to report that "so far, so good". We aren't out of the woods yet since our kids are just entering their teen years, but at least to date we've been very pleased that our kids have made the right choices given the knowledge and guidance of the consequences of their decisions.