Monday, March 23, 2015

Your Job is not your Identity: the Email chain


Below is our discussion concerning an article that was in Relevant Magazine.  The article is located here if you'd like to read it so that I don't have to repost the entire thing.  Below is the email discussion in the order that it was sent out.

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I thought this was good. I've known a lot of people who's entire identity was wrapped up in being in the Navy, and they hated life when they retired because of it. 

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/your-job-not-your-identity

Marc

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Thanks for sharing Marc.  I was reading this from the lens of a recent conversation I’ve been having with Sheila.  I’ve been very involved in Junior Achievement, currently acting as the exec board chair.  It is a big role and one I enjoy.  However based on what is needed, it feels like my job.  I’m using crisis management, mentoring skills, community advocacy, etc.  Skills I use in my job and generally enjoy, but it doesn’t give me the altruistic feeling that I get from volunteering in a classroom.  So I’m balancing using my skills and having a big impact with the altruism of community service.

Make sense?  Fun conversation over a glass of wine with Sheila.

Brad

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Interesting article, for sure.  

But I have a completely different view than you both.  The article operates on a fundamental premise of choice and privilege, something we as Americans, particularly educated Americans, feel is a God given right.  It's super easy to take the "be fulfilled" route for the top 1% of the population but it doest reflect the majority of the people in the world or their circumstances.  The reality is that the largest percentage of the population (even in America) does what they HAVE to do to support their families and live their lives.  They aren't afforded the opportunity to write or pursue their passions, and take a chance on getting paid for it someday.  Nope, most get up and go to a job they don't particularly enjoy but that pays the bills in the place where they live.

And, many more Americans do what pays the most, to feed the appetite they and there families desire in life.  Look no further than our Father and Mother, did they pursue their passions or did they go out and find the best paying job they could find that supported the life they desired, or the next best alternative.  I know this sounds a little "oh whoa is me" but I just ain't buying the premise of this article except for a sliver of the population in the privileged nation on earth.  I would rather see an article with the premise of quit whining and get your fat lazy ass a job!

Ed  

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Yep we do disagree.  I'm more of a cake and eat it too guy on this topic. Maybe because my interests are congruent with making a living. If canoeing was my passion I'd likely have a different idea about how "the man" (not the Man) has kept me down. 

Happy hump day boys. 

Brad

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Hey guys,

Sorry for the delayed response to your comments on the article.  I could have replied through my phone, but then this 15-minute email on the computer would have taken 45 minutes of pecking on my phone.  I just figured that I would wait.

The reason that this article was good to me was in this summary from the article itself: “If you aren’t going to let your job define you, you have to have a solid identity apart from your job title. You have to be or do something other than your job.”  And I made the comment in reference to Navy friends I’ve had because those were people that had no identity apart from the Navy.  None.  They had “Chief Petty Officer” stickers all over their car, talked of nothing but Navy stuff, introduced themselves to the waitress at Denny’s as “Chief Petty Officer… “, you get the point.  There was no separation of the person and the Navy.  For me personally, I don’t think it’s healthy.  For military people, you HAVE to retire sooner or later.  So when that happens, those people are lost, because they lose their identity.

I don’t necessarily agree that having an identity apart from your work is only for people of privilege.  I think even if you are working 18 hours a day, you can have an identity apart from your work.  I think it’s only natural that your work would be some part of your identity, but not all of it.  You brought up Dad, but I don’t think his identity was wrapped up in his job at all.  He had friends, a wife, kids, lots of family, played softball, went to card club, grew a garden, etc.  I never thought of Dad as having an identity that was “welder at Donaldson’s”.  To me, Dad was so much more than that.  Yes, he was upset when he lost his job, but to the people who knew him, he was still the same Al.  His core identity didn't change. 

Maybe I misread it, but I didn’t get the impression that the writer was saying, “Forgot about a 9 to 5 and just follow your passion.”  Those kinds of articles irritate me too.  I think her whole point was that if your entire identity is wrapped up in your job title, when the job title goes away, well, you’re in for a crisis, and not just because you lost your income.  “Your job should not be your everything. We are all children of God who have a purpose and a meaning on this earth. That is our core identity, and it will never change, no matter our job description.”  

You may disagree, but when I’m no longer in the Navy, most of my core being is going to be the same.  I’m still going to watch birds, listen to old school hip hop, talk shit with my friends, make the case for college athletes to be paid, read books, teach at church, be the only one in the Baldwin clan that doesn’t know the latest Iowa score, take pictures of my cat everyday, and go for walks for the sole purpose of picking up trash.  When I meet new people, I will introduce myself exactly as I do now: “Hi, I’m Marc. Nice to meet you.”  

Lastly, I think the comment is interesting that “They aren't afforded the opportunity to write or pursue their passions.”  It’s interesting to me because Americans LOVE to go to the movies and watch a story about someone who DESPITE THEIR CIRCUMSTANCES pursued their passion.  Cinderella Man, The Greatest Game Ever Played, Rudy, The Pursuit of Happiness, etc.  People that are really passionate about something find a way to do it.  I think we make the mistake as Americans of thinking it has to be grand.  Who doesn’t have time to write?  I’m writing now.  I’m not going to win any Pulitzer Prizes for this email, but I’m writing.  I love to pick up trash.  I don’t have any grand ideas for changing the world by doing it - I just like it.  I don’t care if anyone else cares that I do it or not.  It’s just part of my identity.  And it’s something that won’t be taken away from me if I lose my job.  

Sorry, I feel like I’m just going in circles.  I guess to me it just made sense, because I don’t want my whole identity wrapped up in something that can be taken away from me by someone else.

Maybe writing an email at 11pm wasn’t such a great idea!

Have a good weekend guys.  I really do love hearing your thoughts on this stuff.

Marc

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