Mannerisms

I enjoy studying communication patterns of individuals and picking up their tendencies. Tendencies may include go to phrases or crutch words. Patterns also develop culturally. Culture can be defined by companies, groups of friends, families. Many times sayings or stories are frequently used among a particular group and become specific to their culture. Other tendencies are broader. I wouldn't necessarily call them regional or national, although they could be. They could also be considered a function of the era in which we live.

One item I've increasingly picked up on is people's lack of responding to questions they are asked. Pay attention carefully to someone's response the next time you ask them a question. Do they answer your question? Do they add information beyond answering your question? Do they replace the answer to your question with other information? Do they answer your question with a question?

Motivations can include simplicity for the responder, avoidance of the question, misunderstanding of the question, or a desire to help the questioner. But regardless, the end result is not answering the question that is asked. I find that tendency very curious. Curious both in how frequently and unexpectedly it happens as well as how accustomed we have become to it happening.

2 specific examples of late:

1. I asked Sheila last night what she wanted to do for dinner. She responded by asking what I wanted to do for dinner. When I asked again she shared her plan for what she was fixing for the girls. The third time I asked she offered to make a ravioli dish that we both enjoy. 0-3 on answering my question.

2. Brothers 3 are scheduling a time to catch up on the phone. I asked what works for everyone. Both responded with what didn't work. Not the answer to the question asked.

What does it mean? Not sure.

Is it bad? Sometimes, but not usually.

Is it efficient? Absolutely not.

Solution for the questioner? Ask more effective and specific questions. Ask the questions to which you want an answer, not superfluous or leading questions.

Solution for the responder? Don't assume you know that something else is desired other than the answer to the question. Don't dodge the question, if you are asked then answer.

That is all.