And I empathize with the aging process and it making you smarter but less capable of doing the things you once took for granted. I've been in that space for what feels like at least 10 years. Having teenage sons and seeing what they can do physically is a constant reminder of the man I used to be, what I used to be able to do.
I'm also reaching the stage of my life where people my age are passing prematurely. Some due to illness, some due to car accidents or freak situations, but they are a lot like me. I also had a sobering conversation with Chris Hawk about 'getting old'. He told me that as a physician he sees premature death every day, and most (1) don't see it coming, and (2) have lots of regrets over the way they would have lived life had they seen it coming.
I think about Tim McGraw's song, "Live Like You Were Dying" which is a tribute to his father who passed away prematurely at what I believe is about my age now. Lyrics are below.
He said I was in my early 40's,
With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays,
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time.
Asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end.
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says,
[Chorus]
I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.
He said I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn't.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all the sudden goin' fishing,
Wasn't such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do
If I could do it all again.
And then.
[Chorus]
Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.
[Chorus]
Sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'.
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.
With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays,
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time.
Asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end.
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says,
[Chorus]
I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.
He said I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn't.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all the sudden goin' fishing,
Wasn't such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do
If I could do it all again.
And then.
[Chorus]
Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.
[Chorus]
Sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'.
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.
We've all expressed our views in the past on this blog about whether you would want to know your last day if you could know. And how you would live your life differently. Most would definitely change some things, many would change many things. Money in the bank means nothing when facing death, nor does the accolades of a life in pursuit of material things ... it all comes back to people, relationships, family, and memories. These are the grand pursuits of those facing death.
So shouldn't these be our pursuits all the time? Why am I so hell bent on pursuit of professional accomplishment and financial success? And why do I still carry a traditional view of retirement (work until you're 65, save money, retire and live out whatever days you have left according to how much money you have in the bank) when this traditional view of retirement is fading fast in today's world?
Why shouldn't I retire now? Take advantage of my bank account balance and available time, and invest it in people, relationships, family and memories - rather than hope that I'm in a healthy and able position to do so in 15-20 years?
For traditionalists, our parents, and our parent's generation that's CRAZY TALK. But for me, it's real. One huge advantage of being 'in transition' professionally is the time to be able to reflect, take account of the path you've been on, and challenge whether it's the path you should be on and want to be on. Am I doing this right?
At the end of the day no one can tell you what the right thing is to do. You have to decide for yourself. Sure, consult with your spouse and perhaps a few people who you are very close to, but at the end of the day it's your decision.
I've told several people that I have a lot better idea of what I don't want to do than what I do want to do. And, that I'm seriously contemplating whether the path I've been on for the last 25 years is the right path. No firm decisions yet, but I have reached a stage in my life where I am rejecting the notion of a traditional retirement. For me, for my generation and for all generations that follow.
Work for 40-50 years, draw upon a pension, hopefully save some money, and live out the rest of your days based on how much money you've accumulated is too large of a risk. Because for so many, they aren't blessed to have that opportunity as their time is cut short by unexpected life events - hoping and wishing that they would have lived their life differently.
I don't want to be one of those people.
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