This is an utterly ridiculous topic. The bottom line (get it?...bottom) is that attempts at discretion in the bathroom are always appropriate and lessen the chances of awkward situations. A few examples include:
1. Don't go in there and colon blow. If you have to make that much noise you are either trying to hard or should be in a stall with a door. If it happens so be it, but there's no need to "announce your presence with authority".
2. And don't go in there being Johnny Tarmak. Going is important and so is the call with your wife. Life's full of tough choices and its time for you to make one.
3. And don't go in there for social time. You can press pause on the conversation with a buddy for 90 seconds. And if you want to talk with a stranger, there are plenty outside the bathroom in the movie theatre lobby or the airport terminal, and they aren't holding a penis in their hand.
Not included under the umbrella of discretion is interactions of genuine need. If you enter and throw some bombs only to find out you have no TP, it is perfectly reasonable to ask for some help. Who doesn't want to help a person in need?
And lastly, I'm not a germophobe. That newspaper on the floor doesn't scare me one bit. Neither does the one tucked neatly behind the flushing mechanism. How else would you decide which is the right stall for you?
Like I said, utterly ridiculous...
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