Ed, love the idea and what a better way to thank Dad / roast him by providing our top 10. We should all be fearful, these descriptors are quickly becoming reflections of ourselves! Most by way of anecdote or story include:
10. Our Dad was a very competitive person…like way competitive. I can still see him unable to sit still in the stands and cheering us on like a wild man when we were kids. No wonder we are all competitive!
9. Depending on the vintage of his mowing shorts, they are either mildly revealing or look like they are straight out of a Christina Aguilera concert. I’ll never forget the first time Sheila saw my Dad with half his junk hanging out of his shorts. He doesn’t get why it’s a big deal. And it isn’t like its helping his tan on those stark white legs of his!
8. “A farting horse will never tire; a farting man is a man to hire.” One of Dad’s favorite phrases, in part to justify his flatulence and partly to comment on work ethic.
7. Extreme Behaviors: Worrier Edition. If you look under the dictionary under worrier, there may be a picture of Dad. I think he got that from his Mom. Thank goodness she’s 96 and probably not surfing the world wide web, otherwise I would get a scolding in the next note I get from her!
6. Loyalty and commitment to family. Probably my fondest memory of my childhood is that I don’t think Dad ever turned down an invite to play catch. He would always come walking down the alley after a long hard day in a hot factory and there I would be waiting for someone to throw the baseball with. He may have said not until after dinner, and maybe only for 5 or 10 minutes, but I can never remember him saying no. Now that’s a lesson every father can take from ours.
5. Dad has an irrational need to mow the lawn way more than necessary. If there is a threat of rain within 3 days, or if someone may stop by the house, or if he may need to do something else on Sunday he’s out there mowing. OK right? I mean it is his lawn. But what about Grandma’s lawn. We are talking about a 96 year old woman who complains every time he is out there mowing and she could care less what it looks like. But he is out there every 4-6 days mowing the creeping charlie field. And what’s worse, he trims around the 150 things in that yard every single time. Uugghh!!
4. We used to be able to say that Dad was in a rut that he wasn’t interested in getting out of. His retirement and easing into his older years has surprisingly lessened this behavior. He eats more foods and is more open to ideas and places than I have ever seen or remember from the past. There are of course exceptions, like his statement that “I’m going to die in this house” at the casual mention of them living somewhere else down the road. And of course Dennis Rodman…
3. Dad has great disdain for many things a younger generation accepts as normal. Such as tattoes. And the source of all that is wrong with “kids these days” is of course Dennis Rodman. Because you know that half of his friends in the Navy didn’t get a tattoo right?!?!
2. Dad will help anyone at anytime for any reason. I think if you walked around Oelwein and asked people about him, this is the number one thing people would say about him. We all could be known for a lot worse than being overly generous in helping others.
1. Dad is proud of his kids and grandkids. Everything to his walls of fame around the house to him hopping around like a 4 year old who has to go to the bathroom, Dad gets pretty amped up when the opportunity presents itself to brag on or show off his kids and grandkids to others. While we joke and it is annoying at times, if the worst thing my father does is embarrass me because he’s so proud of me than I’ll be just fine.
Happy Father’s Day Dad!
Brad, love your post. Got some good ones that I didn't recall.
ReplyDeleteOne to add that relates to both our lists, Dad loves dirt! He has a special connection to the soil, whether it's the garden (ours used to be the biggest on the West side), the lawn, the trees or the flower beds. Dad has probably dug more holes than a gopher with nine lives.
Another was his willingness to "play ball". Dad (and Mom) were fiercely committed to supporting our efforts in sport and Dad always made time for us when he got off work, good day or bad. That really was incredible considering he had three tireless boys to keep up with.
And last but not least, him stepping on frogs ... Yep, that's our Dad and as you've pointed out it's a bit scary to think about just how much we've become him in our own ways.
And what about POPCORN BABY!!!
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