Change is Hard

"Change is hard, you fight to hold on, you fight to let go."   -Daniel Stern, The Wonder Years

As a contrast to the post I just wrote, the personal transition associated with my job change has been a trying one - for my family and for me.  

Moving to Denver was necessary step for me to be so happy professionally, but doing so has come at some short term cost to my family.  Holly and the kids don't have the advantage of work colleagues to help rebuild their social network and regimen and this gap is something that persists and we are trying to close as we settle in in our new home.  

Swimming and other athletic activities (track and field, basketball, etc.) have been the lynch pin for social activities for the kids and unfortunately many of these haven't yet started.  The particular swimming club we really want our kids engaged with is full so our kids are on the wait list.  Speaking with a swimming parent who's child is in the club told us the wait could be over a year!  That won't work for us.  

So, we need to find other ways to connect and build our social networks here.  Church is one way, and participating in other school activities (football games, clubs, etc.) are yet another outlet.  The neighborhood is yet another avenue that we have yet to fully explore.  

My point here is not to draw sympathy, but instead to recognize how important it is that we remain nimble enough in our lives to accept change.  

Marc and Jen are intimately familiar with this having moved to new places so many times.  I'm sure it's always been challenging to them, but they've adjusted - in some places quicker than others I'm sure.  Their insight would be interesting and I hope this prompts Marc to blog he and Jen's experience.   

Brad and Sheila also are undergoing a massive but more subtle change associated with their kids getting older and all the associated change that comes with that.  Having been through that it would be interesting to hear whether Brad and Sheila have handled it similarly or differently than Holly and I did.  I suspect that latter.  

And even Mom and Dad Baldwin are also dealing with the change associated with our move, and finding new ways to connect and keep in touch with their grandkids, now a time zone away.

Change is hard, and oftentimes made harder by one's age and a limited exposure to it.  I really think changes is easier when you are young.  You're not as attached and that makes letting go and attaching to something else easier.  Also, when someone has the adult choice of becoming "set in their ways" they often do just that - and then change is required and they must suddenly break from the life they built, and somehow adapt to the new.  It does happen as one can't underestimate the human capability to adapt to change, it's just much harder than if they were more nimble and accustomed to change to begin with.

So what do we attach ourselves to so prominently that makes change so hard?  It's people in most cases.  Family, friends, colleagues, coaches, parents, teachers, etc.  It's not about abandoning the relationships that have been built, but continuing in one's desire to grow and develop new relationships that compliment our existing ones.  Existing relationships change, and new ones must fill in the gaps.  Now that's the trick.    

Even with the changes that life has thrown at me and my family I consider us novices in the change game.  The kids are older and it's a proven fact that changing schools and friends as teenagers is more challenging than other ages.  Holly and I are struggling as well, mostly because we see the struggle the kids are having.

It's only been a few weeks.  

I know that patience and time will cure the ills we are all feeling as a family right now about the transition and the move.  Friends will be made, activities will consume our effort and energy, and the newness of our new home and new lives will diminish.  We'll find our routines, and life once again will return to the normal, hectic pace that we are all to familiar with.

I'm thankful for the adversity associated with this change and know we'll be stronger as a family having gone through it, together.