Prized Possessions

Attached is the content from a recent email Brad sent to Marc and me about Dad finding the infamous watch cap.  It's the one he was issued upon entering the Navy circa 1960. 

"I have some extraordinarily exciting news.  I spoke with Mom today and she relayed this news to me.  She was cleaning the living room closet out this week and found Dad’s missing watchcap.  The one with the hole in it.  The one that Marc replaced with new ones which Dad didn’t like because they didn’t have a hole.  The one which Ed replaced with ones from his house that he didn’t like because they didn’t have a hole in them. And he wonders why we make fun of him."

Now this watchcap of Dad's truly does mean a lot to him.  But it caused me to think about those things that each of us as brothers might consider among our dearest and most prized possessions.  I'm particularly interested in those possessions which others might find a bit strange - like Dad's watch cap. 

When I shared with Dad this morning that I planned to put this topic on the blog, he eagerly (not anxiously) responded by throwing Brad under the bus!  He said, "hey, Brad gives me a hard time about my watch cap, my Sydney sweatshirt and other old things that I'm attached to, you might want to ask him about his raggety t-shirts which I wore out and he seems to think are perfect.  You could read a paper through any of them"

Alright Dad!  Hmmmm, even Dad makes characterizations that suggest Brad might be the most like Dad.  Maybe Brad likes those t-shirts to do his crossfit training in ... you know, to go see Pukie the Clown!?

So what are my prized possessions that might stack up as a little weird?  I struggle with answering but might say the number of hats I own? I don't like giving or throwing them away.  And beyond that I think what I treasure the most are pretty typical ... memories.

So, what crazy prized possessions do my brothers have?

Entitlement redux

Ed, really like your thoughts on entitlement as I agree it is a huge problem with our culture (a much more damaging one than the extremism of Crossfit, but that’s another post). The potential outcome of this American attitude that concerns me most is how my children will handle growing up with a silver spoon in their mouth.

My girls won’t be trust fund babies, but Sheila and I are fortunate enough to provide anything for them that they need, and much more. They’ve gone on 1-2 vacations across the US a year, they have trendy clothes, they get toys galore from Mom and Dad and generous family and friends. How in the world to you teach a child that all these gifts are luxuries, not expectations of a normal life.

Now that Sasha is getting older (5), we are starting to talk about chores, an allowance based on work at home, and discuss how she is going to distribute her birthday money. We go to church and learn lessons about the grace of God. We talk about our professional, philanthropic and volunteering activity with her and try to help her understand how many others aren’t as lucky as she is.

In the future we hope to volunteer as a family, Ed to your point providing direct interaction with others less fortunate than our family. We are adamant that our girls will work during college, and will come out of their education with debt. Not because we can’t pay for college, but because we believe that the development of having to juggle work and school and the financial control necessary to manage debt are good life lessons for them to learn while in college.

We have no idea whether or not these are the right answers. I’m hanging my hat on the same idea that I do with most of parenting: if you try hard and are thoughtful you won’t always get it right but you will most of the time and your kids will turn out just fine. We’ll see!

Crossfit with a twist

Let me quote Marc…

…they are contributing to the American appetite for extremism and the “all or nothing” attitude that is killing our culture.

Marc, that sounds a little conspiracy theory-esque for me, but sounds right up your alley. Crossfit is killing American culture. Okay. It’s not political gridlock, rampant drug infiltration, and erosion of family values. Keep sellin’ crazy Marc!

Brad on prioritization of my time

I do like the discussion about how we prioritize our time. I didn’t want to provide information without being thoughtful so I spent some time going hour by hour through each day in a “typical” week. That is comical in itself since typical schedule happens about as often as typical weather. Here’s my commentary on my time priority (spreadsheet below, cause I know you all enjoy that):

Although I know I require a lot of sleep, putting in the perspective of 1/3 of my life is in bed seems excessive. I wish I could consistently function with 6 hours of sleep, oh what I could do with two extra hours! But I know that leads to bad habits such as napping, poor calorie consumption to overcome sleepiness, lack of energy for exercise, etc. Definitely not worth it!

I think I put in a large amount of time working, but I feel that I should considering the sizable compensation I receive from my employer. In addition to my salary, I have great discretion as to when I work so while the number of hours may seem like a lot to some, they don’t come directly at the expense of other priorities very often.

I like that I spend this much time with my family. Because we are busy during the week we tend to guard our weekends and spend lots of time together. That is the best. 1/4th of my life and over 1/3rd of my waking hours with my family feels like a good amount for me.

I am disappointed that the number of TV hours exceeds my exercise hours. That said it is a bit misleading due to TV being combined with other things. I rarely sit down and watch TV. But it is typically on in the evening after the girls are in bed. I may be working, or running on the treadmill, or folding laundry, but the TV is on. Of note, Sheila can read with the TV on and I cannot. To be able to read I have to be in a quiet environment with little distractions. Unfortunately that definitely limits my reading time.

I really like the lack of car time. .5 a day is probably too large of an estimate. It is about 6 minutes from home to office. I have dropoff duty at school for the girls all days once and a couple days twice. In that instance, my car time is lengthened to 12 minutes one way. Not to shabby, the only thing I miss about not being in the car more is the talk radio.

Crossfit Revisited

I agree with both of your posts on Crossfit.

Brad, you brought up a good point about it being the latest in a LONG line of fitness crazes.  If we took a couple of minutes, I'm sure we could fill in much of that list.  The few that come immediately to my mind (from the recent past) are Taebo, P90X, Insanity, and kettleballs.  We Americans are crazy for crazes.  But Crossfit is a little TOO crazy for my palette.

Ed brought up a good point that it was strange for you to be surprised by my assertion that Crossfit would be most appealing to you.  We had those blog discussions awhile back where you laid out a case for seeking out your mental and physical limits in the realm of physical fitness.  That seems to be the drumbeat that Crossfit marches to.

I agree with Ed - I'm way past the idea of beating my body into submission.  I'm afraid that it may not recover if I do!  Unfortunately I've known more than one person that has been sucked into Crossfit and in short order are trying to nurse themselves back from injury.  "Pace yourself" and "Be careful" are probably a couple of phrases that you'll never hear in a Crossfit gym!

I have no problem hurling stones at the Crossfitters... they are contributing to the American appetite for extremism and the "all or nothing" attitude that is killing our culture.  You're going to have to dig back a year or two to review that classic MAB rant.

Time keeps on tickin' tickin' tickin'...

Ed, loved your post about time.  It caused me to start thinking about what it would look like if I logged everything that I did for a week or two.  The inconsistency of my life from week to week (or so it seems) means that it may look completely different from week to week, but I think the key is to gain some consistency in the stuff that is at the top of the priority list.

How long is your commute now?  I'm not sure how much time I spend in the car, but I don't think it's close to 16 hours.  My commuting time, depending on whether I drive all the way to work or take the ferry, is roughly 4-6 hours a week.  We do drive to church, the grocery store, birding, etc. and I'm not sure how many more hours that would add, but my guess would be no more than five.

I'm not sure that I could call anything purely TV time.  I'd probably have to call it multi-media time
instead.  I tend to multi-task so I'm usually tinkering on my computer if the TV is on.  It's not very often anymore that I give my full attention to TV, unless we happen to watch a movie.  When I'm on the computer like I am right now, I'm usually doing something else as well.  For example, I'm digitizing some cassette tapes as I type this.

I think five hours per week for working out is pretty good.  I'm not much higher than that, perhaps at six or seven.  I'd love to be at eight on a weekly basis, but I'm working on it.  By the way, my scale says I'm down to 186.  I haven't been weighing myself regularly, so all that I know for sure is that a couple of months ago I was at 196, so I'm pretty stoked about that.  Okay, so it was 186 butt naked, butt I'll take it! (Pun intended)

Well, there's no avoiding the rap on the work hours.  I'm VERY fortunate to be able to work out as part of my work day.  Not counting those work out hours, I'm probably right around 35 hours a week at work.  I've never put it in those terms, and when I think about how the tax-paying public compensates me, I'm a pretty lucky guy!  I'll console myself with that fact after my six months of at-sea 14-hour days next year.  I have NO DOUBT that both of you guys work a lot more than I do on a regular basis.

Family time is another sector that I'd have to do some figuring to get the right formula.  Tonight is not unlike many nights in our house.  I'm doing stuff on the computer, and Jennifer is sitting nearby doing stuff on her computer.  We chat about stuff here and there, laugh at stuff on the TV, etc.  Does that count as family time?  When I'm not at work, I would venture a guess that over 90% of my time is spent with Jennifer.  We may not necessarily be doing the same thing, or it might be sitting together at church or small group, etc., but we are almost always together.

I just might try journaling my time for awhile.  It might be an eye opener!

One of many problems...

Brad, I loved your rant on the government.  It really is quite ridiculous.  There are lots of problems with our current system, but I think one of them is the fact that "politician" is just another career choice.  So I say get rid of the career aspect.

I'm a fan of term limits.  Serving in congress should be exactly that - service.  All of those cats are so far out of touch with reality that they are of no good to the American people.  Show me where ANY congressman is suffering for their service.  I'll be standing by.

I know it's a pipe dream, but maybe - just MAYBE - if you only got elected ONE time and served a four-year term (no chance for re-election) then people would vote for what is actually best for the country rather than for what they think will get them re-elected.  There is only one motive in politics, and that is to keep your job.

And now they've done what they've been doing for years: they just delayed the problem.  We have been operating for years on "continuing resolutions."  When is the last time congress passed a budget?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Oh yeah, 1997.

I hate to say it, but I'm starting to think that we need the same party to win the presidency, have a majority on the Supreme Court and a majority in both the House and the Senate to get anything done in this country, whether or not we agree with it.  Right now congress is just wasting our time (and money).

I'm voting against the incumbent in the next election, regardless of their party affiliation.  You failed.  Time to go home.

Politics Suck

Let me start this post with a pre-story and then I'll come back with my views on politics as a profession.

I’ve had a few conversations with Chris Hawk (a friend of mine who is in residency following medical school) about why people become doctors.  He contends that most are compelled to the profession for reasons other than helping others.  For some it’s the money, and for others where it originally wasn’t about the money, it becomes about the money because they graduate with $250k or more of debt!  The moral high ground is a path taken by few graduating from medical school these days.  He also acknowledges that he is fortunate to be in a position where it isn’t about the money.  That’s also why he’s going to be a general MD, not a specialist. 

The reason I share this conversation is to talk about why people enter politics.  I wonder, is it because they want to serve the people?  Is it because they want the fame?  Is it because they believe they can change the system for the better?  I really don’t know, but my opinion is that very few would have a shred of credibility if they told you it was to “serve their constituency”.  Bullshit.  There is no way possible that almost any elected official in our federal government could say this.  Not with the track record they have established.

That’s one of the major reasons I hate politics.  Another is that I don’t really understand it, and to be frank, I really don’t want to.  I know, it has a material impact on me and my family and for that I should at least pay attention.  But really, how much BS can someone really want to hear? 

This is not a democratic thing and it’s not a republican thing, it’s a government thing and it makes me sick to my stomach.  I would actually like to become a politician.  But only if I could change the system and represent the American public and my constituency.  And that just won’t happen.  I wonder how many aspiring politicians have realized this fact after obtaining an elected office.  You can’t change it.  You have to play by the same BS rules that everyone else does.  Get elected, raise money, don’t upset the apple cart, create alliances, and hopefully get re-elected.  Perhaps, if you’re lucky, you’ll be able to look at your accomplishments 40 years into your political career and a few pieces of legislation that have made a difference have your name on them. 

No thanks, not the profession for me.  That makes most any profession more fulfilling (hot dog vendor makes lots of people happy every day) than politics.  So again, who is becoming a politician and for what God forsaken reason do they have the desire to do that job???

Ed on Cross Fit

Marc, I dig the post and agree with you – it’s a cult.  A cult, furthermore, that I have no interest or desire in.  Anything that makes money can be called a business, so I'm not buying that one. 

I watched the Crossfit games last night for the first time on TV.  Women with bandages, torn muscles and irregular bodies attempting to lift 215 pounds over their head.  This isn't extreme physical fitness, it's tearing your body up by asking it to do things you should be asking it to do.  Plain and simple. 

I want to push myself to be more fit physically and mentally, but for much different reasons than those who likely are attracted to cross fit.  I’ve created personal goals that are quite reasonable and will help me feel better about myself and live a quality of life I desire.  I don’t need to be able to see Pukie-the-Clown in order to achieve my goals.  I want to have a waist size that doesn’t exceed my inseam (not the case right now, I might add).  I want to be fit enough to feel good about myself, and have Holly be happy with how I look.  I want to set a good example for my kids.  I want to be able to participate in physical activity with them and not create anxiety or worry that Dad can’t.  I would like to do a sprint triathlon.  But that’s it.  Nothing crazy, no Everest, no marathon, and no ironman.  Just being able to create a reasonably healthy eating and exercise regimen that hopefully allows me to keep the family streak of longevity in our family tree. 

Brad, are you really surprised that you're the one being called out as a potential enrollee?  Let's see, you've climbed Everest (ok, Kilimanjaro), you've done a marathon or two, and are on record for wanting to push the limits of what your body can take.  Perfect fit for Crossfit don't you think?

You are right on in saying that the reason you're being called out here is because 7.5 appears pretty crazy compared to 2-3, where Marc and I comfortably sit.  So where is Sheila on the fitness crazy scale? I don't know, she is just establishing her benchmark.  The 5k doesn't raise her bar much. 

Entitlement Sucks

One observation I’ve had lately is how entitled people have become.  As Americans, we are perhaps the most entitled people on Earth.  Entitled to get an education, get a job, take vacations, have insurance, retire and live a fulfilling life.  Very seldom in an American’s life are survival skills tested.  Fortunate right?  I’m not so sure.  The two extremes are excess and survival, and like most things the sweet spot might be somewhere in the middle.  The thought of “earning” or “achieving” something is admirable and everyone loves a story of strife where perseverance and commitment pay off.  Entitlement, the silver spoon, and inheriting privilege is less admirable – perhaps because entitlement so often leads to squander.

This is one by product that I don’t like about living the American dream.  It is so easily taken for granted.  Being unemployed for the better part of a year helped me realize that I was taking A LOT for granted in my life.  But now that I’m back to work I find myself slipping back into the entitlement mentality.  I’m giving it an honest attempt not to do so, but it happens.

Why?  And what can be done to keep entitlement at a distance? 

The only solution I’ve found is to continually seek out and interface with people who are struggling.  Home-less, hungry, job-less, family-less – doesn’t really matter.  Just stay connected to those who need and want way more than you.  That will keep your humility meter high, or at least higher.  When you spend too much time with those as privileged (or more privileged) than you are, you are on the fast track to increased dosage of entitlement mentality.  And that sucks.  It’s unappealing to me on every level and when I see it in an employee population, with my kids/family, or worse yet in myself, I try to stop and think about the toughest times for me (not survival by any means, but challenging to my self-esteem) to get myself out of that thinking.  

Do either of you have any other strategies for keeping entitlement mentality at bay?

Father Time

There have been several posts or discussions between the three of us priority setting, time management and how each of us use our time.  But really, I’m wondering how do we use our time?  While Brad may have a spreadsheet clearly outlining his time usage, I certainly don’t.  So it was fun coming up with the listed below rough draft of the big rocks and how I utilize my waking hours (sleep time excluded).

Waking Time Available for Use in a Week:  119 hours (assumes 7 hours of sleep per night, on average)
Work Time:  55 hours (46%)
Driving Time:  16 hours (13%)
Family Time, no overlap to eating/TV time:  20 hours (17%)
TV Time:  9 hours (7.5%)
Eating Time:  7 hours (6%)
Workout Time:  5 hours (4%)

This is a current depiction.  I couldn’t think of anything that directly takes more than 5 hours per week.  This draft also assumes that I am not traveling, there are no holidays, and that I work five days and am off two.  Holiday weeks would certainly skew the results. 

Of the six big time consumers listed here it’s made me realize a few things.  The first is that I spend three times more of my waking moments driving than I do working out.  I even spend more time filling the pie-hole than I do working out.  Perhaps shocking, perhaps not.  One surprise to me was the amount of time I spend each week driving.  I (we, my family) spend a lot of time in the car.  Yes, TV time made the top six list and I estimated the actual amount of time I spend in front of a TV as accurately as I could.

One time consumer I’m proud of is what I’ve labeled “family time”.  Some might say that when you are spending over two times the amount of time working as you spend with your family that the ratio is out of whack.  But practically with the amount of time my family spends together, 20 hours felt like a good commitment to me.  And most of that time is on the weekend, of course. 

So what are the six biggest consumers of my brother’s time?  I hope they respond but I’ll take wild guess and say that:

·       Marc spends approximately the same amount of time in a car that I do.  Brad, not even close. 

·       Both Marc and Brad spend less time working.

·       Brad and Marc spend more time working out than I do.

·       The family time element will be interesting.  I’ll guess that both Marc and Brad spend more “family time” than I do, but perhaps that isn’t the case. 

While the mix varies to some degree and yes, I would like to spend less time working and more time doing other things, in general I was happy with my estimate. 

Now I'm really upset at the federal government

Okay, so because the idiocy of how our federal government functions (or doesn't sometimes), most of the time I just tune it out like I do my 3 year old. The whole shutdown/debt ceiling deal has popped up on my radar recently because it impacts my brother directly and because I'm worried about the impact on the financial markets and my nest egg. But now, this whole mess is front and center because for the first time it directly impacts me.

You see, I was heading out to our beautiful local single track mountain bike system over the weekend. It is some of the best in the Midwest and I hadn't been out for 6 weeks since I injured myself in Colorado. I went to the ICORR website (they maintain the trails) and saw the trails were closed. I assumed it was for a day of trail maintenance but I thought I would check to confirm. Well come to find out because the trails are on federal land operated by the US Army Corps of Engineers, it is closed indefinitely due to the shutdown.

Now I'm really pissed at Obama. And the other democrats. And the republicans. And the tea party. You are a bunch of selfish idiots. Every single one of you. Serving our country, that's what our military heroes do. You just make a mess of everything and bicker like little children.

Its a really good thing we are getting overpriced and diluted healthcare thanks to the stupendous political invention of Obamacare, because my weight is going up. Adult onset diabetes, here I come. Thank you federal government, you've officially ruined my health and made me pay more for it at the same time. In service to others, that's our federal government!

Crossfit - herd mentality

Calling Crossfit a cult is giving it way too much credit. It is only the next thing on a long list of herd mentality, group driven exercise programs. Remember the water aerobics classes Mom used to teach to all the blue hairs in the junior high pool with their milk jugs? Total cult. Jazzercize, Spin classes, Les Mills, Ferrell's extreme fitness? All cults, at least by your definition.

Crossfit is simply the herd based, training reflection of people's increasing desires to do something edgier. As we migrate away from Fun runs and poker rides towards mud runs and polar plunges, the training tools simply move to continue to reflect this interest. Purely from economic/business terms, crossfit isn't a cult recruiting to its cause, its a business identifying a need in the marketplace and providing a service to fill that need. It only costs $200 a month to go to an empty room because that's what the market is willing to bear. Crazy, I agree.

I find it particularly interesting that I'm the brother identified as being most connected to this type of crazy stuff. I've done exactly the same number of mud runs as both my brothers. I've not participated in any off the wall training regimen or race. While my interests may be towards more physically intense activity, I am no more than a 7.5 on the nutjob scale of fitness crazes. I only look extreme because you sit downward on the continuum in range of a 2-3. One last note, in my immediate family it is my wife that is currently considering a crossfit membership. And ugh...gasp, she ran a 5K yesterday. What a crazy!

Isn't is a bit like casting stones in a glass house when we all sit at our computers lamenting our difficulties in maintaining fitness while deriding the chiseled, high energy crossfitters?

When are you signing up?

Have you guys ever heard of CrossFit?  It's become huge around the military.  Just my opinion, but I think it's become so popular because of this whole fitness trend of "more pain, more gain."  Actually, it seems like it would be appealing to you Brad, since it revolves around the premise of pushing your body to it's absolute limits.  Their slogan is "Forging Elite Fitness".  

But I think it's a cult.

1.  Cults generally believe that they are the ONLY game in town.  If you are a part of anything else, you're missing the real deal.  If you want to be REAL, you have to be a part of the cult.  That's exactly how CrossFit people talk.  All other forms of physical fitness are inferior, and therefore a waste of your time if you are "serious" about physical fitness.  There is only one way to work out, and that's at a CrossFit gym.

2.  Cults are always trying to recruit others to join.  This one is closely related to #1 above, but I've never met a "CrossFitter" that didn't tell me that if I just went one time, I'd be hooked.  They are more persistent than JWs!  It cracks me up how people who do CrossFit are always doing it outside, in the park, along the road, taking pictures, posting pictures… it's a full-press PR campaign.  They are certainly not the only fitness people who do it, but I think it's physically impossible for a CrossFit person to workout and NOT post the results on Facebook, results which only make sense to other CrossFitters (see below).

3.  Cults have their own lingo and you have to be on the inside to understand it.  If you ever come across a couple of CrossFitters having a chat, you'll be dazzled by words and phrases like AMRAP, firebreather, pukie the clown, GHDs, wallballs, hero WODs, metcon, fran, murph, KTEs, EMOMs, and the filthy fifty.  Push-ups and sit-ups are lame.  See #1.

4.  Cults always have a cost involved if you want to get in.  CrossFit isn't cheap.  If you want to work out in one of their "boxes" (a complete CrossFit gym - see #3) then you have to be prepared to shell out about $200 per month.  It's kind of funny since their workouts mostly use body weight or free weights.  No fancy machines (cardio or weight) at a CrossFit gym!

5.  And lastly, cults usually have some nasty secret that they don't like to talk about, and that's also the case with CrossFit.  One of the terms that I didn't mention in #3 is "Uncle Rhabdo", which is a reference to rhabdomyolysis.  Some websites even refer to "Uncle Rhabdo" as the unofficial mascot of CrossFit.  You've probably heard about rhabdomyolysis, because occasionally you'll see it in the news if there is a case of it in college or professional sports.  You may remember that in January of 2011 thirteen Iowa football players were hospitalized with rhabdomyolysis, and it's no joke.  It is caused by muscle damage (often caused by extreme physical exercise) and can result in kidney failure.  I guess that for some CrossFitters, it's a kind of sick bragging right if "Pukie the Clown" took you to see "Uncle Rhabdo".  Ridiculous.

Do some research and tell me what you think.  I'm linking this article and this article to include in your research.  Needless to say I won't be joining the cult.