Re: Living for the Present

First of all, when I read the title of your blog, this immediately jumped into my head.

Now that we have that out of the way…

I think you're in a good place with your thoughts Brad.  Appreciating the "now" is something of which I think we could all use a little more.  Jennifer and I were having a conversation the other night about our next move, thinking about houses, locations, possibilities, etc.  I actually brought up the fact that I thought there was a danger in obsessing about what is ahead, rather than focusing on what is right now.  Yes, I know that "living in the now" doesn't mean you can forget planning, but when there is always an extreme longing for what may come in the future, it has the potential to induce a sort of dissatisfaction with the present. 

In the Navy, at least when I joined, you could pretty much plan on moving every 2-3 years (due to "homesteading", it's not the case anymore).  There has long been a joke about those kind of Sailors, no matter where they are currently, who believe that their last duty location was the best, the next one will be even better, but their current duty location is the worst.

In her book, Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other, Sherry Turkle observes that people who are tied to social media and texting are never really present wherever they are.  They are longing to be somewhere else with someone else all the time.  Similarly to what I mentioned above, she observes that it causes a malaise with face-to-face relationships. 

Big plans?  Nothing wrong with that, but I applaud your efforts to appreciate the here and now despite looking ahead to bigger and better things.  I think that the regular awareness of what can happen by always looking ahead will prevent you from forgetting to appreciate what you have now.  As in most things, balancing the present and future is the key.

Live for now

I commonly field questions and requests from my girls (ages 5&3) that in some way attempt to secure a future opportunity. “Can we have ‘crazy noodles’ for dinner tomorrow?” “Can we watch Lion King this weekend?” “Can we go to Applebees next week?” My response is typically some variant of “Ladies, let’s worry about tomorrow tomorrow and enjoy today today.” Sound advice I think as a parent to a child. I want them enjoying the moment, not consumed by the prospect of a future opportunity.

As I’ve done a good bit of reflection at the new year about my personal and professional status and goals, I feel I could benefit similarly from my own advice. I’m a fixer, a pusher, a planner. I’m focused on securing the next opportunity, planning the next adventure, and creating a plan to get there. Kilimanjaro in 2013, Ironman in 2014, already thinking about 2015 and beyond.
Am I taking the time to enjoy each of these experiences? Am I recognizing that my professional opportunity could be the best opportunity I’ll ever have, with an incredible team of people I truly like and a company with the prospect of providing substantial financial opportunity? Do I truly appreciate the relative luxury I have: a beautiful wife, two wonderful and healthy kids, spiritual content, all the physical possessions and more that a person could expect? Am I respectful and giving of my time to the wonderful social network of friends and relationships that help me so much?

I think I do appreciate what I have, Sheila and I often discuss with each other how lucky we are. Some of that luck is just that, and some is the kind generated by an enormous amount of hard work. However, I’m not sure that I am slowing down enough to enjoy what is around me. I’m not sure if I’m soaking in the journey of an adventure versus thinking about the next one as soon as I cross the finish line.

So I’m going to try to focus on the journey a little more. That doesn’t mean stop planning (not a realistic goal!), and I will still push for more experiences and more successes. But I’ll also recognize that clichés are clichés in many cases because they are true. And I’m going to work hard to appreciate the journey as much as the destination.

There is a position between blindly riding the people mover of life and rushing to catch the next thing. That perfect balance eludes me...for now.

Fitness Progress

As noted in our emails, congratulations to all of us on successfully navigating the first half of our fitness challenge.  For me personally, I know that it doesn't feel all that much like a challenge anymore, which was kind of the underlying intent.  Now I just feel like I need to work out because, well, that's what I need to do.

Ed, in regards to your post about plateauing on the swimming, I realized something today that I thought was worth adding to the conversation.  I don't feel like I'm making incredible progress on my fitness, because I'm pretty much doing everything solo.  However, today I went mountain biking with a friend who is relatively early in his own kind of fitness challenge.  I'll just say that riding with him showed me just how good my cardio and cycling health is right now.  I know that it's not awesome in any sense, but riding with someone who is not in good cardio health made me feel like a superman.  There wasn't anything too steep on the ride, but he was hurting even when I felt like we were riding really slow.  I had to pause every minute or two to let him catch up.  I was riding on my largest sprocket in about third gear, and he was cranking on his smallest sprocket, struggling.

I just wanted to mention that to offer some encouragement.  You may not feel or see the progress all the time, but if you put yourself out there with guys your age that aren't doing much... well, you'll be proud of what you've accomplished.

Let's keep rolling into the second half... nice work guys!

Gym faux pas video

This video pretty much sums up our entire conversation on gym behaviors...enjoy!

See video HERE.

Plateaus make for easy riding!

Ed, what's going on with the swimming?  What's your goal?  I'm not sure exactly how to answer your question other than to give you my personal thoughts on "improving" my fitness.  

I'm not saying that there should be absolutely no expectation of improvement, but if everyone continually improved at what they spend time on then we would all turn pro eventually, right?  I haven't been riding my bike on a regular basis for years on end, but I know that even when I was training for RAGBRAI and riding a lot, I never really got any faster than averaging around 17-18 mph on the bike.  One of the reasons that the Tour de France impresses me so much is that the winner averages almost 25 mph over the course of the 2500+ miles, and that includes all of those ridiculous mountain stages.  I can't average 20 mph for 15 miles on a flat course.  If I REALLY wanted to improve my bike speed, I suppose that there are things I could attempt to do it (i.e. building leg muscle by lifting, sprinting on the bike, etc) but I'm pretty content with how fast I go.  

Which leads back to my original question: what's the goal for wanting to swim faster?  When I workout my goal is simply time for the most part.  If I rode my bike significantly faster, for example, I would need to lengthen my courses to get in the same amount of time.  Even training for RAGBRAI my goals were based on distance and not necessarily how fast I could cover the miles.  I don't have a problem with you wanting to swim faster, but rather identifying WHY you want to be faster might help.  

If it's what you want to do, then I would get into a Masters Swimming class.  I've heard people talk very highly of the stroke technique help that you can get from someone who's qualified to coach adults in swimming.  I'm sure stroke technique is probably at least part of it.

Brad may argue differently based on his comments in the past about exceeding physical limits and the power of the mind, but I also think that every person DOES have a natural limit to athletic ability.  I hate to say it, but you and I are in our 40s and not getting any younger.  

I'm incredibly impressed with the fact that you can swim 2500 meters in an hour.  If you ever want to feel like Ryan Lochte, just come to San Diego and go for a swim with me.  Remember, last May I took 13 minutes to swim 400 meters in a sprint tri.  

Jumping into 2014

All this New Year’s resolutions talk is making me tired just thinking about it!  As usual, I’ve got some random thoughts on the subject bouncing around in my head, and none of it seems to fit coherently into a “wow” blog post.  You’ll have to settle for a “meh” blog post.

I went back to see what I wrote when 2013 still had that new year smell.  I said that I wanted it to be a year of doing things that I DON’T want to do.  I think I did a decent job with that, although it could have been better.  I’ve worked out regularly, and I have improved my dental hygiene!  I don’t think I’ve improved as much as I’d like to in addressing tough situations (especially conflict) as quickly as possible.  But it’s something I’m constantly working on.  I worked to address some nagging health issues during the past year, which is a plus for me.  I tend to be like Dad when it comes to the medical establishment.

So what’s on the docket for 2014?  I’ve had that on the back burner since you guys kicked out your forecast about three minutes after the ball dropped.  My goals seem to be a little nebulous.  They’re not SMART goals.  And yes, some of it probably seems like cheese, but I’ll share anyway.

As funny and entertaining (sometimes) that my rants might be, I’d like to throttle back on that this year.  I get worked up about a lot of stuff that is pretty irrelevant.  That’s tied heavily to my own judgment of others and lack of forgiveness for the same.  I guess I would summarize it by saying that I want to be more gracious in the coming year.  At work I feel like I talk about people behind their backs too much and I hate that about myself.  If anything I want to be known as a guy who forgives and forgets TOO quickly.  I'm starting with the hard stuff... this will be pretty difficult to accomplish, at least noticeably.

Brad, you’ll like this next part.  I’d like to limit my Facebook time (as compared to what it was during the past year).  As with everything, there will be a cost with that because I will lose some connection with friends who I’m not going to email or call on the phone, but hopefully the benefit will be focusing my relational energy on family and close friends.  I have no intention to ditch Facebook, but if I can wean myself off it as much as I’d like to, 15 minutes twice a week will be plenty to keep up.  It’s not something that I’ll mention on Facebook itself, because I’ve seen TOO many people make a big deal about it like they’re ditching some nasty habit, and then they show up again a month later.  I’m not judging anyone who spends hours a day on Facebook, but for ME, I don’t see the benefit I would expect from such a time investment.  In fact, in relation to the previous paragraph, Facebook often delivers more consternation than pleasure.  It’s not on my phone anymore, and I hope to keep it that way.

For a guy who feels like he’s reading all the time, I was surprised to look back and realize that I only read 10 books in 2013.  Well, 10.5 really… I bailed on one that I had been reading for awhile right before Christmas, and I was half way through it.  I expect my book count to increase this year, because rather than sit and waste 10 minutes or an hour on Facebook every day, I intend to use that time reading.  My problem is deciding WHAT to read.  In the next 10 minutes, I could make a list of 100 books that I want to read.  If I never added to that list, at the current rate it would take me 10 years to get through them.  That’s ridiculous.  Unfortunately, my reading choice is often an economic one.  That’s so lame.  But I buy books that are cheap, not necessarily because “I gotta read that.”  How do you choose your books?  I’m currently reading a book that I received for Christmas (it was free!) titled simply “S.”  It’s a different kind of book, but nearly impossible for me to explain.  You can check it out on your own if you're interested.  At any rate, since I’ll be spending 6+ months at sea this year, which is when I read A LOT, I may eclipse the number 10 before May.

I’m pretty satisfied with my current fitness thanks to Brad’s fitness challenge brain child.  4+ days of good workouts every week is more than I would probably have been able to manage on my own.  My long-term fitness concept is to keep my heart ticking, so knowing that I’m elevating my heart rate on a regular basis is generally good enough for me.  More on that in another blog re: Ed’s swimming plateau.  

I will probably do some research in the coming year on my next education adventure.  I’ve dabbled around a little bit in the past, but I would like to nail something down so that I can get started once we’re settle at our next shore duty site.  I intend to earn a degree in my general work field, national security studies, security management, intelligence management, or counterterrorism studies.  I don’t think I’ll qualify for a doctoral program since my MA is in Christian Leadership, so it will probably be another Masters.  Funding said schooling will be a separate challenge, but I’ll figure it out.  I’d like to posture myself a little better for post-Navy employment within my field.  Lots of people with experience like me, but not many with the experience AND formal education to go along with it  

Is it December yet?

Fitness Plateau

I've been plateauing in my swimming.  Check that, I think I'm swimming slightly slower than a was a few months ago.  Is it in my head?  Am I thinking about swimming faster too much?  Am I losing the integrity of my stroke?  Maybe a little of all those things. 

The whole thing is quite frustrating.  Not that I'm trying to be faster than anyone else in the pool (other than Brad and that old guy in the lane next to me) but c'mon, I don't want to get slower!  So I consulted my kids (the swim stroke experts in my family), a couple of their coaches, and even purchased a book on the essentials of swimming to help me.  I even checked out "stroke school" at the gym.  Yeah, the book hasn't helped much but that's only because I haven't cracked it open.  I will, at some point.

I also haven't felt compelled to increase the amount of time I spend in the gym, it just seems fruitless.  I would rather spend my time in ways I enjoy more, spending time with family.  Pool time isn't exactly social time.  Quality time with the kids (and Holly too) are really important to me and I spent more time with them over the holidays this year than anytime I can remember.

So how is the fitness challenge working out for my two brethren?  For Brad it's probably been good motivation that will become less and less important as he pursues infamous IM levels of fitness.  How about you Marc?  You've definitely been kicking it on the bike. 

Brad and I also discussed my views on extreme sports fitness, and my comment about variety, balance and moderation (or some combination of those) being important to me.  Brad called me out and said that isn't his perspective on who I am or how I operate.  I begged to differ, but admittedly I didn't have much of a defense other than saying that I am probably more akin to those things than him.  A weak argument, I know, but everything is a matter of perspective.

We've got 15 or so more weeks of at least four hours per week of gym time and I suspect I'll be committing to that time much the way I have so far ... mostly in the pool with a little elliptical and inside biking tossed in.  I'm not blessed with San Diego weather and I'm not going running.  No thanks. 

Marc, will you approach the coming months any different?  Brad, I know you will - Mr. Ironman.

I'm not feeling it right now but I am committed to staying the course.  Perhaps I can find something other outlet for working out (racquetball, for example) that will reinvigorate my motivation.   

2013 YiR, 2014 full steam ahead

2013 was the first year since 2002 that I didn’t write down any specific goals. My intention per my post on January 15th, 2013 was to identify my goals while traveling to Tanzania and had lots of time to think. Well turns out while I had time, thinking turned out to be more of a challenge than I had anticipated. At least in the way that generates goal setting ideas.

With that said, I had a thoroughly tremendous year in 2013. I successfully reached the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro which was a bucket list item. The associated international travels were rewarding and educational. In addition to travel to Africa I took more time off in 2013 than in any other year since I graduated from college, much of that translating into family fun. I became more community involved through increased involvement in Junior Achievement and Sheila and I gave away more money this year than ever before including two sizable financial commitments to our church and the UI Children’s hospital capital campaigns. Professionally my company had another banner year which I was able to provide some leadership in accomplishing. And late this year I’ve regained my drive and commitment to physical wellness. I’m pleased with the year considering my lack of S.M.A.R.T. goal setting.

2014 - I have committed to another bucket list item this year: an Ironman triathlon. That will be a central focus for the year due to the training time commitment. I will also be doing the Kokopelli mountain bike trail ride this year from Fruita, CO to Moab, UT. That trip was derailed last year and I am excited for that multi-day mountain bike adventure through the mountains. I’ll be going to Rome with Sheila in March which will satisfy a number of interests including visiting the number one place we both have on our “must visit” lists.

I like the idea of general priorities for items that don’t fit neatly into goal setting. My priorities this year will continue to be maximizing family time and having an appropriate work/life balance. In addition, we have begun to expose the girls to religious education through Sunday school and they love it. Fostering their spiritual development is something I want to continue in 2014.

Specific goals include:
1. Read 12 books.
2. Do an ironman triathlon.
3. Visit Rome.
4. Do the kokopelli mountain bike trail ride.
5. Learn to rock climb by getting certified in belaying and safety techniques.
6. Go to 5 men’s and 5 women’s sporting events at UI (different sports).
7. Go to 6 cultural events – theatre, concert, etc.
8. Help MediRevv reach revenue & margin targets.
9. Take the girls to an out of state major city to which we’ve never been together.
10. Camp 4 times with girls, 2 times with Sasha outside of our yard.
11. Go kayaking with Dad, go to an art museum with Mom.

Post Holiday Depression

I love the holidays, I really do.  But I can see why people struggle with the post holiday blues.  To some extent I experience a little bit of it myself.  Lots of time off, great Christmas gifts, lots of parties and get togethers that provide a great excuse for gorging on food and drink and you've got yourself the ingredients for post holiday depression.  It's not just about those grieving lost loved ones, those who don't have family to enjoy, or those who can't afford the gifts they buy.  No, I would suggest it happens to those living seemingly normal lives. 

Holly has told me a few times lately that "your in a funk".  She asks if I'm thinking about all there is to do at work in the New Year, or what is causing the melancholy that normally isn't a part of my persona.  Hmmmm ...

I'm so thankful for what I have and for how 2013 has ended.  Blessed beyond what I deserve.  So you retract, or at least I do.  Preserve and protect what you do have and hope that that nothing in the future threatens your fragile comfort.  Do I fear that one terribly bad day could possibly disrupt my life and throw me into a tailspin as it did in 2012 without me realizing it?  If I'm honest, yes, there is a little anxiety there. 

My life has been so good that my biggest anxieties are what could happen, not what is likely to happen.  Does that make me lucky?  I suppose so.  But what does it take to be "secure" anyway?  A pile of money in the bank is a good start.  And knowing that my family is safe and secure at all times.  Well that's not realistic given I have a 17 year old daughter that drives.  Every time she's in the car and I'm awake I worry that she will arrive to her destination safely.  That's what Dad's do right?

I'm rambling here but my point is this - living with anxiety and a fear of the unknown is unavoidable.  But letting it control your emotions and the way you handle yourself isn't.  My advice for those who struggle through the holidays is no different than any other personal struggle or strife ... simply persevere.  That's what I'm doing and what I see in others that inspire me. 

When I am optimistic about the future and positive and thankful good things happen.  When I dwell on the past and worry about the future then I am not at my best.  Sometimes I regress to the prior.  But generally I'm focused on the latter ... and that's a very good thing for me and for those I love and care for the most.   

2013 close out, 2014 Goals and Resolutions

I went back and looked at my 2013 goals from the blog and here's what I found:

1. Let go, let God.
2. Support others.
3. Keep learning.
4. Find my fit.
5. Bike more.
6. Less fizz.

My grade on each:

1. C, I went to church more but my attendance and desire waned in the face of "other priorities".
2. B, I've made a conscious effort to help others who might be struggling, much the way I was through a good part of 2012 and the first part of 2013.  I feel I did a reasonable job.
3. B, I learned a tremendous amount (about businesses, politics, and myself) from running my own business.  I also took a class on entrepreneurship that was a good stretch for me. 
4. A-, I know what I am and what I'm not, professionally and personally.  I've tried to stay true to who I am through 2013.
5. B+, I put less actual miles on my bike in 2013 than in 2012 (because of RAGBRAI) but overall I was more active.  2013 started with a weight challenge with Mom, and ended with a fitness challenge with my brothers.  Overall, a pretty good year. 
6. A+, I wanted to significantly limit my soda intake and went the whole year without any soda.  While my intake of beer likely increased (also fizz) what I was really referencing in this goal/resolution was soda and I even exceeded my own expectation. 

So, what's on the docket for 2014?  Here's what I've come up with so far:

1. No texting and driving (I know I should never do this but admittedly I do)
2. Limit my soda intake to no more than 5 per week
3. Recertify for my SPHR and GPHR designations
4. Take a significant vacation (at least a week) with my immediate family
5. Plan something special for our 25th wedding anniversary to ensure it is memorable
6. Complete my first sprint triathlon
7. Develop a strong personal friendship with at least one person in Denver
8. Don't check my phone (email, texts, facebook) before 6am and after 9pm

Well boys, what do you have on your respective lists?

Ed on "What Can't You Get Enough Of?"

I'm with Marc on this one and struggle to find anything in my life that compares to Brad's innate desire to push his limits mentally and physically.  I'm a much stronger believer in balance, moderation and variety - and these being the keys to happiness and well being.  Not pushing to the extreme.  To me, it's a fine line between pushing your limits and overdoing it to your own detriment - and I would suggest that most can't differentiate between the two. 

So what can't I get enough of?  Maybe sleep, pizza, beer and chocolate?  Until the past couple of weeks I would have also said watching football.  But believe it or not, I may have OD'd on watching football.  I got a little stir crazy and was ready to get out and do something.  Fortunately I did just that.  Even an hour or two of errand running, going to the gym, throwing the football with the boys, taking Rocky for a walk, or skiing did the trick.   

I'm not trying to make light of Brad's point but I just don't have a good answer to his question.