Thanksgiving

No doubt, Thanksgiving was the holiday that we spent with Dad's side of the family.  I don't know exactly how much we saw our cousins on that side of our family, because my memory may just be skewed by the massive amount of time that we spent with our cousins on Mom's side.  But either way, it's interesting that it didn't seem to matter how much we saw the Franks - there wasn't anything awkward about it when we did get together.  We behaved as if we spend every day together!

I remember the "hunts" that we used to do, and what I remember most is the year that we actually killed a rabbit.  Of course it was dumb luck, because even though we had the sharpened sticks and other weapons, somebody (I think it was either Ed or Marty) stunned the rabbit by chucking a bottle at it.  Once it was stunned, we all swarmed like sharks with blood in the water.  It was dead within seconds.  I remember that although we were pretty proud of our work, Grandpa didn't seem to thrilled about cleaning a rabbit.  It wouldn't surprise me if he never did and that thing went right in the garbage.

On to the controversial topic of... apple pie.  I never really liked Grandma's apple pie, but that may be because I didn't really like apple pie at all as a kid.  Grandma was usually kind enough to make a chocolate pudding pie for me.  Please don't excommunicate me from the family, but even when I became an adult and started eating apple pie, I wasn't crazy about Grandma's version of it.  Maybe it was the texture.  Her apple pie was very mushy, and even to this day I like chunky apple pie.  Sorry Grandma, but I wouldn't worry about it.  I think I'm alone in the "not the best apple pie" camp.

Food...  I think the idea of eating loads of food is a purely adult take on Thanksgiving.  When I was a kid I don't think I was that crazy about Thanksgiving food.  It was food that you just don't typically eat.  Mashed potatoes?  Couldn't stand them as a kid.  Turkey?  Can I have a drumstick?  Casserole?  I never liked casserole as a kid, especially something like green bean casserole.  Pumpkin pie?  Ewww!  I'm not doubting that there was a TON of food at Thanksgiving, but for me, that wasn't really the draw.  I think my best hope was for an unattended dish of M&Ms or something like that.

I do like Thanksgiving, because it still is considered a holiday that you are supposed to spend with extended family.  That's the focus.  Christmas, due to the complications with Santa Claus delivering presents and the perceived obligation of family gift exchanges, etc., is a time when many people want to "hunker down" with their own individual family unit.  It's just less complicated than trying to get together with other family.

In fact, we should just get rid of Christmas altogether, huh Brad?  ;-)

Thanksgiving Memories

I recently came across a blog post I wrote but never published about Christmas memories.  I caught myself grinning fondly as the memories I wrote about sprung back to life for me.  What awesome memories!  Well, the same is true of Thanksgiving and since it's too early for a Christmas post (right Brad?) I thought I would jot down my memories of Thanksgiving growing up.

Not sure if my brothers will remember Thanksgiving as I did, but Thanksgiving was the holiday we generally spent with Dad's side of the family.  We weren't as close to Dad's side of the family for a number of reasons, but one reason was that our cousins on Dad's side were older, and there were more girls - so we didn't relate to them as closely as we did with the cousins on Mom's side of the family.  We were all pretty close in age, and mostly boys, so we had a lot in common.

Most Thanksgivings were spent at Grandma's, a mere four to six blocks away from our house.  I can remember Thanksgivings at Mary's or Marcie's, but not many.  Most were at Grandma's house, and the ones that were most memorable was when our cousins from Bellevue (near Dubuque) came ... the Franks.  Marty, Angie and Tony in that birth order with Marty being about my age and Tony being somewhere between Marc and Brad in age.  Angie usually tried to stay out of the way of five energetic boys trapped in a little house, looking for things to throw, shoot and tear up.

Following a traditional Thanksgiving meal, dessert was the real treat I remember about eating at Grandma's house.  Aside from Grandma's pickled beets, which for some reason I really liked and like to have on Thanksgiving in remembrance, Grandma's real treat was her apple pie.  Quite simply, it was the best ... and I can recall several debates with others as an adult because EVERYONE says their Grandma made the best pie.  But seriously, ours did!  As ammunition for why our Grandma's was the best I would usually ask, did your Grandma use real lard, real sugar, real apples, and make her crust from scratch?  If the answer to any of these questions was either 'I don't know' or 'no' then I had won the argument.  The Amish couldn't make a pie as good as Grandma.

While she made all sorts, pecan, cherry, rhubarb, peach and apple, none compared to the apple.  Boy, I wish I could have a piece right now!

Once someone filled your plate with turkey, ham, mash potatoes and gravy, and a carrot or slice of green pepper as garnish you headed to a card table in the back room of Grandma's house.  Away from adults in the kitchen that was engulfed with a standard dining room table and a mixed set of chairs to accommodate the large number of guests that were atypical for every day of the year except this one.

We chatted with cousins we saw once or twice a year, munched on the massive amount of food that none of us could finish, and gazed outside for some fresh air and room to breathe.  It didn't take long till the tipping point had been reached where we weren't going to eat any more (in spite of parent promptings) and the adults wanted us outside so they could enjoy the meal together in the absence of kids.  That's when the fun began!

It usually started innocent enough with throwing a football, a baseball or any object that could be made airborne behind the strength of a kid's arm.  All it took was one overthrow of the ball into any of the bushes that framed the back yard.  When that occurred and someone went into those bushes to retrieve the ball, out popped a rabbit who considered it little more than a distraction on a gorgeous fall day.  There were rabbits everywhere around Grandma's house ... it was on the outskirts of town and there was lots of cover and food for a ballooning rabbit population.

What it signaled for a bunch of boys was an opportunity to go hunting, rabbit hunting!

Our hunting instincts evolved quickly, first we would hurl the balls we had at the fleeing rabbits. From there it was sticks and rocks.  After that, spears (sticks with sharpened ends thanks to Grandpa's woodworking tools) and clubs that had nails affixed to them via electrical or duck tape, again thanks to Grandpa's stash in their garage.

Hours spent strategizing, stalking, chasing and hunting rabbits.  I remember coming back to Grandma's house with my arm sore, my body covered in sweat, my clothes covered in dirt and stickies (I don't remember the actual term) from the bushes we trounced through, and with a huge smile on my face because of the time spent with family. I was exhausted and incredibly happy.  And then I got to look forward to a slice of Grandma's apple pie, a side of vanilla ice cream, and a glass of milk.

I can also remember there being football on the TV, but I don't remember ever spending much time watching it. There was nothing like the fresh air, the leaves covering the green grass, the exercise from hunting rabbits, and topping it all off with a slice of Grandma's fresh apple pie with my cousins and brothers that was what made Thanksgiving special for me.

Ahhh, the good ole days!

P.S.  Marc, if you've got any pictures from Thanksgiving you could share to accompany this post that would be awesome.

Lies lies lies (no, not Fox news)!

I love the three lies and three truths.  In my own spiritual walk I find that one of the hardest things to do, and one of the things that our pastor is always reminding us to do, is to believe what GOD says about who I am, not what the world says about who I am.  God's truth is real truth, and God's love is not dependent on anything that we say or do, which is a lot different than what most of us experience on the human side of love.

I'm glad that you had a good retreat.  I haven't been to a "men's event" for a long time, and your blog makes me want to participate in something like that again.

My Disney observations

Your observations on Disney reminded me of a few of my own, and how much I love Disney.

They work unbelievably hard to maintain the magic at Disney.  You'll notice that it's nearly impossible to actually see anything broken, worn down, or trashy.  The place is spotless.  The upkeep is impeccable.  Even keeping the place clean is carefully orchestrated so as not to affect the magical sense of the park.  You don't see, for example, a cart full of trash bags - that all happens underground.  You don't see employees entering and exiting the park - they enter at a separate location out of the public eye.  I remember when I went to Disneyworld with the OCHS band my sophomore year.  When performance time neared, we had to EXIT the park, load up the buses, drive around to the employee entrance, get dressed, and then enter the park through a performance staging area.  When we were done performing, it was the same in reverse.  We were never allowed to be seen in our band uniforms apart from actually being a part of Disney's performance (actually performing).  All of the preparation takes place out of the public view, so that you never see a Disney character out of character per se; you never see a dwarf with the head portion of their costume off for example.  Everything is always perfect.  It's just amazing.

Another thing that amazed me was the music in the park.  You may have noticed that there is almost always music playing around you, and yet you can never find a spot where you hear two opposing music streams.  Somehow they have coordinated ALL of that to be seamless throughout the entire park.  Even during the parades, the music is seamless as it arrives and passes or as the various floats with different music pass through.  For the life of me I don't know how they do it!  Also, you just don't see speakers ANYWHERE.  The audio sources are hidden.  It's crazy.

The creative detail is perhaps what impresses me the most.  Near one of the bakeries at Disneyland in California, right off Main Street, up on the second floor, there is what looks like an apartment.  The sounds coming out of that "apartment", complete with window motion (shadows) is that Goofy is living up there - watching TV, showering, cooking etc.  You could pass through there and not even know it.

I also remember waiting for a performance of one of their theatrical shows.  A "maintenance guy" came out on the stage and really looked as if he was checking the lights, etc., for the show.  But then he starts talking with some people up front in the stands, and eventually he's singing and dancing, and a few other "maintenance guys" wander in and join him, and boom!  Without hardly realizing it, we were witnessing a planned pre-show performance to keep the crowd occupied.  Again, I was just amazed.  It felt like we were getting a special treat, when it was all creatively planned that way.

Lastly, (I can think of dozens of other examples) when we were at Disneyworld we spent a day at the "Blizzard Beach" Disney waterpark.  How do you make a WATERPARK look and feel like a ski resort???  I have no idea how you would even want to attempt that, but Disney absolutely nailed it.  It looks like a ski resort.  The buildings look like they have snow on them, there are icicles on the roof edges, the big water slide looks like a ski jump, there are ski lifts to ride to the top, chateaus, icebergs in the water, etc.  Absolutely blew my mind.  And then there is "Typhoon Lagoon" (the other Disney waterpark) that somehow makes it look like it just got wrecked by a typhoon and yet it's still charming!  

Seriously, their creative minds are through the roof.  I am so impressed with Disney that I almost don't mind forking over the $150 that it costs to spend a day there!  I'd like to see what they do to convey to every one of their thousands of employees that they have an integral part to play in creating the magic of Disney.  

Christian Men's Retreat Learning

This past weekend I attended my first Christian men's retreat ever.  This one was sponsored by our church, a church we've been attending fairly regularly since our move to Denver in mid-2013.  It's an awesome church, but a big one, and I had failed to connect with many in the congregation because of the size.  So the retreat represented a big opportunity to get to know others in the church better, and in doing so grow closer to God in my walk with him. 

So while I was contemplating whether to go or not, Holly encouraged me and signed me up.  Nothing like receiving that much needed nudge when you're on the fence!

Off I went, with anxieties and anticipations in tow ...

I'm really glad I went.  What were my takeaways from the retreat?

• We are all broken. I met other men in the church who are at various stages in their walk with God.  It was comforting knowing that I wasn't alone in my struggles to be a better husband, father, friend, colleague, neighbor and man of God.
  
• There is one specific quality and character trait that is a key attribute of living a God-centered life - HUMILITY.  It will protect our relationships, safeguard our career, and enable us to experience life to its fullest.  I learned that Jesus' teachings centered on humbleness more than any other character trait except one - love.  I also learned that being humble always outpaces us.  If you reach a point at which you are proud of your humbleness, then by definition you aren't being humble!
  
• Three lies and three truths:

• Lie #1: I am defined by my success.
• Truth #1: I am defined by God's love.

• Lie #2: I don't need close friends.
• Truth #2: God created me to live in community with others.

• Lie #3:  I don't have what it takes, AND I have what it takes.
• Truth #3:  God will provide what it takes.

The content of the conference was rich and I took a great deal from it beyond what is stated above.  It provided a great opportunity for reflection and spiritual growth.  Like many things, the learnings will be fleeting unless I incorporate a plan to make the learnings a daily part of my life.  So all participants were challenged to create a personal plan for living a more God-centered and less self-centered life.  

Although I read as much scripture over the weekend as I had read in a month, I'll only offer one here because it is a fitting summary to my weekend spent at the retreat.

"He must become greater, I must become less" - John 3:30

   

The "magic" of Disney

I am fresh of my first and perhaps only visit to Disney World. Overall a great experience and one that was enjoyed and will be remembered by our family. I have a few takeaways about Disney, and perhaps about our family as well. Here we go!!!

1. The Happiest Place on Earth?
It is cool, and a ton of fun, but I'm not sure about the happiest place on earth billing. Many people have shared their experiences (more on that later) which invariably include a zombie march through the throngs of people in the middle of the night to see the fireworks illuminate the Magic Kingdom. Shortly followed by screaming, overtired kids who have endured so much fun they can't see straight.

For us, that's not our happy place. And I thought that melt down only happened later into the day. What I learned is that every 10-15 minutes, within earshot there will be some kids losing her/his mind over something. A toy not purchased, a treat denied, a ride or experience delayed, or succumbing to the heat and humidity. It starts about 15 minutes after the park opens. It probably ends about 90 minutes after the park closes, although we did not stay late enough to see the closing ceremonies any night.

2. Everyone has advice on Disney.
I remember very clearly when we were pregnant with Sasha, everyone had some advice. If they had kids they shared their experience and wisdom, and if not they shared the wisdom from their childhood experience or that of their parents. But make no mistake, there is nothing that brings out the unsolicited advice from others like having a child. EXCEPT Disney!

In the 4-6 month build up to our trip, we would casually share our family vacation plans. And invariably we received immediate feedback on what to do/not do. I was surprised although in retrospect I should not have been. Disney is such a big experience that it is a lot like having a child (and nearly as expensive!), everyone has done it or known someone who has. They've got ideas to share and are more than eager to do so.

Now lest we think that this is an unwelcome sharing of advice, we actually benefited tremendously from all the feedback we received. Our trip would not have been as enjoyable as it was if we had not listened to all the ideas of others and used them to craft our Disney plan. Which brings me to...

3. Have a plan or suffer the consequences.
Integrating all of that advice with the independent research we (by we I mean Sheila) did was a hefty task. Then to use all that information to craft our plan of attack for making the trip what we wanted was a part time job. So many items need to be planned in advance, and we are talking months not weeks or days. Sheila was all over every detail as we all know she would be. More than anything from the trip, I am thankful that due to all of her effort we had the trip we wanted. To have not gone through all of that effort would have left us scrambling for each experience, each meal, each transportation, each [fill in blank here]. For some maybe that works, but as the B3aW readership know that's not really how we run our railroad.

4. They think of everything.
For the last couple years I have read the Disney Institute blog which focuses on how Disney tries to create the best customer experience possible. I consistently find tidbits that I can apply to our business at MediRevv. I look at that information in a whole new way now having a personal experience at Disney. They really do think of everything. From ride queues, transportation, transaction efficiency, it all is super dialed in. I was incredibly impressed by it all and it made the inevitable lines, crowds, and weather which can be daunting a bit more enjoyable to see how the Disney engine manages these issues to drive the right customer experience.

5. It's a trip, not a vacation.
This was perhaps the best advice I received about our visit to Orlando. A week at Disney isn't a vacation. It is simply to intense, by any reasonable standard, to be a vacation as defined by most. I didn't come back refreshed, not energized. Not quite exhausted, but close. But having that perspective going in made it much easier to enjoy.

6. The Disney pay before you go model.
Most businesses are go/get then pay. It makes sense. Why would I pay the plumber before he fixes my leaky sink? Why would I pay for my jeans before I get to wear them? Experiences are typically the exception where you pay for the football or concert tickets in advance of going. But that's a minor expense.

At Disney? Hotel - in advance. Park tickets - in advance. Experience meals like breakfast with the Princesses - prepaid. We've been paying for this trip for six months! When you turn that around and think about it from Disney's perspective, they in many ways get to cash flow their business by using the proceeds from future sales. Running that expensive of an operation (70k employees are expensive!) is a cash hungry machine to say the least, but I imagine that a greater percentage of operating costs are covered by prepaid revenue than most businesses. That's a pretty awesome financial model for them.

Going dark...

AFB+1  (After Facebook Day One)

Today I went dark on Facebook.  Account deactivated.  Deleted from my phone.  Deleted from my iPad.  Shortcut deleted from my Apple Safari.

Well, technically it hasn't even been a whole day yet because I deactivated my account at around 5pm, so I'm only in my fourth hour without my primary social media connection.  No big deal yet... yet.  Some people said some nice things on FB about how they would miss me - nice sentiments but it didn't help my resolve.

This evening I got an email from an old Navy friend that told me he did a similar thing a couple of months ago.  He checks his FB once a week (that's how he saw my post).  It was encouraging to hear him say that he's very happy with the decision and doesn't miss the hate and discontent.  I had weeded most of that out of my content on FB, but you can't avoid it altogether.  I definitely won't miss that.

I guess Instagram is the methadone to my FB addiction.  It will help with the withdrawal symptoms that are surely waiting just around the corner.  One day at a time...

Brad on Accomplishments

Interesting topic, I've enjoyed reading both your comments. Its a pretty personal subject, one I'll attempt to dance carefully around so we can go back to arguing about how much football coaches make.

One slant on the topic that perhaps is obvious but nonetheless worth noting is that accomplishments are a reflection of priorities. Thinking how personal accomplishments are it makes sense that what you choose to prioritize in your life and invest time, energy, effort, and resources will likely create the output of accomplishments.

I'm barely 40 so I'm not feeling super accomplished in my life. I feel good about my trajectory, but have so much that is in front of me that I want to accomplish. But looking in the rear view mirror here are some thoughts on what I've prioritized in my life.

I've been able to navigate professional success and to this point do not feel I've had to sacrifice my family commitments. I've hopefully been graded kindly by my wife and kids, their grade matters to me. But I believe my effort score would be an A...as in Accomplishment. See what I did there? I'm flawed as a husband and dad, but I hope that my commitment and effort to trying to be the best I can will win the day. I hope.

Outside my family I've maintained a small network of relationships that are very important to me. For those in my extended family I feel a level of commitment to a supportive relationship with them that I hope enriches them. I hope.

I enjoy and prioritize growing and helping others. That takes a lot of forms, first and foremost my kids. But I enjoy growing the talented people that I get to work with in my career. I also enjoy engaging in my community through volunteering which the last 6+ years has been a volunteer and board leader for Junior Achievement. I hope that those investments have helped others in some way. I hope.

Lastly, I've prioritized some very selfish pursuits that are important to me. I've always wanted to maintain an identity that is based on my own personal pursuits. Completing an Ironman triathlon sits squarely on the top of this list. That's probably a shallow "accomplishment" to some, and I agree. But I have placed a priority on some selfish pursuits.

So there you go. Commitments to my family, my extended family, my community, and to myself. I'm comfortable with my steps forward and back, and am hopeful to have the opportunity to prioritize in the future that ultimately builds on my resume of accomplishments. I hope.

Accomplishments

I hesitate to respond because, well, I don't know.  Tough subject I guess.  It's tough because, like many things, what I believe in my head and what I'm able to actually live out in real life doesn't always match up.

Any time we start listing accomplishments, I feel like we're doing it so that we can compare, and I just don't like it.  We applaud when we read or hear stories about people being comfortable with themselves regardless of what people think, and yet we (yes, I'm including myself) spend our days comparing.  We can't help it.  We start teaching kids to compare themselves to others from the day that they're born.

"Just had his one-month follow-up appointment.  He's in the 95 percentile for weight, and 75% for length."

"She's only in first grade, but she's reading at a third grade level."

And it never ends.

My mental health depends on me believing that I am who God says that I am.  It's fact.  So I need to recognize when others contradict that truth and ignore it.  Comparison to others = feeling like a failure.

So accomplishment to me is hardly worth discussing.  Not that you guys would, but maybe my accomplishments don't mean a hill of beans to you.  And perhaps I'm not emotionally strong enough to handle the possibility of someone telling me that what I believe is an accomplishment isn't really an accomplishment at all.  Is a majority vote required by the general populace in order for it to be an accomplishment?

I apologize in advance because this has sparked a thought process for me that drives to what I believe is a core issue in the world these days, and that is being comfortable with yourself.

Yep, that's cliche.  But I believe it's the most powerful and transformational thinking for about any human being.  I guess I feel like so many people spend so much time and energy doing stuff so that they can tell someone else that they did it, because it will convey an image that they hope to portray.  They didn't do it because they wanted to, but because they think someone else would want them to.  Or they don't do something that they want to do, because they are afraid what someone will think if they do.

What a miserable life.

I'm all over the damn place.

What were we talking about?  Oh yeah, accomplishments.  Ed, relational accomplishments are absolutely the best accomplishments.  I wholeheartedly agree.  You don't generally hear eulogies the include the "stuff" that people did, but rather about what kind of person they were: loyal, kind, generous, loving, faithful, friendly, caring, etc.  Those are relational.  Certainly traits that can be on display at work, but they aren't work related.  They can be displayed in any relational context: parent to child, child to parent, friendships, marriages, cousins, neighbors, co-workers, teacher to student, authority figures, etc.

Perhaps the world would be a better place if we all had relational bucket lists - if our bucket lists included things that express our friendliness, our love, our loyalty, and our care.  Even just a little.  Not for the sake of comparing to someone else's list, but even if we strive to do it just a little, I think we would all benefit.

[Raises hand to express the international "I'm sorry" gesture, steps off the soap box, and shrinks away from the blog]

What's Your Greatest Accomplishment?

I've been in job search for a while now, and a common interview question is to ask what your greatest professional accomplishment(s) are.  Because of my experience being the interviewer and the interviewee, I'm always prepared with those accomplishments in my past experience that I derived the most satisfaction from, and that delivered the most value to my employer.

But what about in your personal life?  Do you have accomplishments personally that are equivalent to or exceed what you've accomplished professionally?

And further, think about why you consider any accomplishment (professional or personal) so gratifying.  In my case, I'm judging the magnitude of my accomplishment in terms of:

• the value derived, for someone else AND for me
• how hard the achievement was to achieve, the challenge was really big
• those that participated in the achievement, I achieved it in collaboration with others

So do I have personal accomplishments that exceed my professional ones?

Absolutely.

If you have a 'life' portion to a 'work/life' balance then I suspect this should be the case.  Because in most cases (not all, but most) professional accomplishments revolve around business success.  And the measuring stick to business success is typically making money.  And while making money and being a part of a successful business is gratifying, I'm not sure it 'rings the bells' on the achievement scale I've created above to the degree a personal accomplishment can.

So when I think about life accomplishments the single accomplishment that far exceeds anything else that I've achieved in life is ...

BEING A GOOD SPOUSE TO MY WIFE, AND A GOOD FATHER TO MY KIDS.

Now you might say that's two accomplishments not one, but the two are so inextricably intertwined that I beg to differ.

There are so many admirable pursuits in life, personal and professional. Write a book. Climb a mountain.  Give your life as a sacrifice to your country. Invent or discover something. Become the best in your profession. These are the accomplishments we hold up as a society, and create statues and memorials to never be forgotten.

I do admire those who accomplish these things.  But for me the accomplishment I'm most proud of also points out what I value the most in others.

I've been a good spouse and good dad.  Not great, but good.  Because clearly there are things I regret. And there are lots of things I could have done different.  Or better, much better.  But that's also part of the value obtained, learning from your mistakes. And I also value loyalty, and loyalty comes in the form of commitment to your family - those who loved and raised you.  Those you love and raise.  Ones who cared first, when others didn't.  And persistence.  Persistence (some people refer to GRIT as a slightly different version of this) is also admirable.  Not giving up when your chips are down. Family can be hard.  Lots of emotion and passion that can be divisive in relationships.  But it can also be the most valuable.  I've been told that relationships are doomed when one no longer cares.  As long as I care, expressed as anger, disappointment, disgust, etc. there is hope.  But when I no longer care, the relationship is doomed. Well suffice to say I care about my family, and they care about me.  

And finally, paying it forward.  This has become a coined phrase that is over-said and under-used. Serve others in a way that makes the world a better place.  And who better to do this with than your own children?  They will be in this world long after I'm gone.  And I entrust our collective future more to them than anyone on the planet.  So best to invest in that future right?  Spending time with your kids, educating them, telling them of your successes and failures, and encouraging them to explore their own.  That's parenting, and I'm so proud of what Holly and I have achieved.  Our kids have made us proud, and I expect they will continue to - only further increasing the value derived from our investment!  But I recognize that my greatest accomplishment is unfinished and undone.

So why is our world today filled with accomplishment outside of being a good spouse and parent? Why is this accomplishment so undervalued in today's world?  I don't have the answer but it is a question very worthy of pondering.  Several thoughts rush into my head, all worthy of argument and debate.

But we need to get back to valuing the accomplishments of being a good spouse and good parent again.  Akin to the other accomplishments we value in life, as a society we must once again value these traits in people.

I've personally fallen prey to judging my success in life (and derived happiness) based on my professional achievements.  Forgetting about success in my personal life I've instead focused on my professional accomplishments of working for a great company, my job title, my job responsibility and what I earn.  And I've gotten down when unemployed and not able to invest in these pursuits.

Make no mistake being a success in your profession is important - but not nearly as so as being a good spouse and parent - at least not in my opinion.

So whenever the accomplishment question comes up in a job interview, my thoughts turn to what I'm really most proud of, and everything else at that point in time that I share with the interviewer seems incredibly minute and inconsequential in comparison.

Cops and lives that matter

A tough subject for sure.  As with all complicated issues, there are no easy answers, and my comments are more observations than anything else.  

The “Black Lives Matter” movement has generated a lot of controversy and I don’t agree with all of the hub bub.  I suspect that people have a problem with it because of fear.  They fear that if they say that black lives matter that they will lose something.  Perhaps they will feel that they owe something, that they have failed at something, or that acknowledging that black lives matter will then require a response on their part.  And so people just don’t want to admit it.  No one wants to admit that there is a problem, because that would require a need for a solution, or at least some kind of response.  If you’re a white person, you’re probably pretty comfortable with the status quo - no need for any change!

Along with the other tons of stuff that gets posted on social media, I saw a nine-box cartoon that makes an excellent point about people demanding that we say “All Lives Matter” instead of “Black Lives Matter.” 

I like the analogy.  Yes, all lives matter.  But there is an issue with black lives that I think needs to be addressed right now, and I’m not scared to say it.  I don’t know what that looks like in it’s totality, but for the present, I think that it means showing some solidarity with the “Black Lives Matter” movement.  Is it perfect?  Of course not.  Neither is the church.  Nor any charity.  Nor any company.  There are bad people everywhere.  I don’t think that it negates the whole idea.

In regard to the police…

I’ve been saying it a lot lately, and I’ll say it again: you could not pay me enough to be a police officer in this day and age.  I can scarce imagine a tougher job in America, and I make no attempt to exaggerate.  As nice as it is to hear the gratitude for my military service, policeman deserve it WAY more than I do.  Short of deployment to a war zone like Afghanistan or Iraq, policeman face far more danger on a daily basis than those in the military.   Being a cop is crazy dangerous.  

Body cameras certainly should be part of the solution.  However, can you imagine any profession where every second of your performance can be analyzed by the masses?  I can’t.  I do not seek to make excuses.  However, how men (and women) respond when they feel that their life is in danger is hard for any person to judge.  EVERY traffic stop has the potential for something really bad to happen.  If I were a cop, EVERY traffic stop would have my heart beating at twice its normal rate.  I would quit due to anxiety problems within two weeks!  Police work is thankless - they are either being criticized for doing too much, or for not doing enough.  I don’t want to trivialize it, but it’s like Monday mornings around the water cooler when EVERYBODY seems to be qualified to criticize the quarterback who is getting paid $18 million a year because he’s the BEST at what he does.  Except with the police, the consequences are real.  People die as a result of their action (or inaction).  

That’s a start.  I may have more to add later.

My View on Police Shootings, Gun Control and the Politics of these issues

Last night there was another shooting tragedy, this time in Dallas with two snipers opening fire on police officers (killing 5 and injuring several others) who were on location to oversee a peaceful protest against police brutality.  The protest was organized due to two police shootings earlier in the week that occurred in Louisiana and Minnesota, at least one of which was witnessed thanks to video by millions of Americans.  This is the most recent of a string of confrontations between uniformed personnel and the public that ended in shootings where innocent people were killed.

Quoting from A Few Good Men (you know I love this movie) "Those are the facts of the case and they are undisputed."

But that's seems to be where we go off the rails, common sense ends, sensationalism erupts, logic goes out the window, and differences in opinion emerge.  It's really sad.

We need to find common ground and remain focused on that common ground when we disagree on what to do.

I wanted to speak my mind and share a couple of thoughts on these events without prompting a never-ending argument or debate with those who I don't know, and don't know me.  Remarkably, doing so on this blog site will accomplish that since our readership appears limited solely to my two brothers and our Mom and Dad!

The first point I want to make is this:  There are good people in this world, and there are bad people in this world, and they come in all shapes and colors.  Black, white, and everything in between.  You can't differentiate between good and bad people based on their outward appearance, the color of their skin, their ethnic origin, or for that matter whether they wear a badge or uniform. That last part is sad to say, but it's true.

Second point: All lives matter and we have to quit needlessly killing innocent people because of what a small percentage of bad people have done.  If a bad HR professional does something egregious like shooting an employee who doesn't perform, that doesn't entitle anyone to wage war against all HR professionals and start killing them in retaliation.  Because there have been some bad cops that have killed innocent people doesn't mean we should start shooting all cops as a means of resolution.  I read a quote from Gandhi today (who knows if it actually came from Gandhi that said "an eye for an eye just means everyone is blind."  Profound whether it came from Gandhi or not.

Third point:  Video evidence clarifies exactly WHAT happened, but provides very little clarity as to WHY it happened. Millions of people now have the benefit of seeing what happened in these confrontations via video evidence.  But many jump from seeing WHAT happened to making a lot of assumptions about WHY it happened.  As an HR professional I have limited training into investigation.  But one of the basic premises is to withhold judgment until you've gathered all the facts that you can.  When someone who is white shoots someone who is black (or vice versa for that matter) it doesn't automatically mean that their motivation for shooting that person was because of the color of their skin.

Fourth point:  Our men and women in uniform have an unenviable job that deserves the benefit of doubt when their actions are being judged.  They are tasked with protecting us and themselves. And they put themselves in harm's way daily.  In my opinion they should be given the benefit of doubt because of this sacrifice.  The world is far more dangerous today than it has been in the past. I'm not saying that those in uniform have a license to kill or harm others solely based on the uniform and their motto to serve and protect, but they are entitled to the benefit of doubt in doing a job that is thankless, and where differentiating between good and bad people in a split second is challenging at best, impossible at worst.  I've reached this conclusion by putting myself in their shoes.

Last point:  Anyone who kills or harms others with a racially motivated bias should be brought to justice, uniformed or non-uniformed.  It's that simple.

So where to from here?  Good question that isn't getting enough thought, focus, and media attention right now.  Here's my proposed solutions, certainly open to criticism and suggested improvement.

• Mandate uniform cameras on all police personnel - this will shed light on the truth with the caveat of my second point above.  It helps solve the problem.
• Pass stricter gun laws - I believe it the first amendment and in gun ownership in America.  But I'm also moderate enough to support background checks, strict permitting, waiting periods and limiting some firearms from being in public hands.  
• Develop more respect for the men and women in uniform - I don't know exactly how to make this happen or what form this suggestion takes, but there is all this public BS about how much we appreciate those who protect our freedom.  Do we really mean it?  If so, we don't seem to be showing it.  In my limited interactions with the police, military and uniformed personnel I've found that "yes sir, no sir" goes a long way.  For a light hearted version and humorous version of what I'm talking about, check out this video from Chris Rock

I'm sickened by how polarized our country has become on issues that to me are more common sense than complex political problems.  

Treat people as you want to be treated, seek first to understand, show people common courtesy, assume positive intent, put yourself in their shoes; wouldn't any of these phrases rooted deeply in common sense go a long way in addressing the crazy and radical actions that are occurring on the streets in our country today?

And perhaps most importantly, what are we doing to correct course and tackle these issues with solutions and implementable change?  Isn't this more important than the outcries, the outrage, and escalation of difference being highlighted by our media?  

I'm genuinely interested in hearing from those I know and love on their thoughts and suggested solutions regarding these issues.  Not political, not partisan, just what you would suggest for improving what everyone agrees is crazy and unacceptable in terms of what is going on in our country today.

Read This Book

I'll try to avoid this post being a book report, but since I don't read as much as I should when I come across a book that resonates with me I feel compelled to share. Well Being, by Tom Rath and Jim Harter was one of those books.

It's an easy read (one of the key ingredients of a good book for me) on a topic many people struggle with most of their lives, myself included.  How to get the most out of your life and be balanced and happy.  And this book isn't just the qualified opinions of the authors.  It's backed up by Gallup research that ranks among the largest studies of human behavior on the planet.  They didn't survey 200 people to come up with the findings, rather millions.

And yet, the advice and guidance that comes from this research is very simple. Challenging to live everyday perhaps, but simple.  That's another ingredient of a good book, the ability to take a complex challenge that millions of people wrestle with and boil it down into simple and understandable actions that can address the issue.

So, without further adieu, here's the executive summary (a different way of saying 'book report'). There are five essential elements of Well Being:  Career, social, financial, physical and community. Each plays a prominent role in well being over your lifetime.  The five elements aren't completely mutually exclusive, so some decisions/actions in your life might have a positive/negative impact on multiple elements.  At the end of each chapter outlining each of the five elements there are three recommendations (see, only three) for boosting your well being in that element of your life.

Spoiler alert, here they are:

• Career Well Being
• Everyday, use your strengths (see StrengthFinders)
• Identify someone with a shared mission who encourages your growth, and spend time with them
• Opt into more social time with people and teams you enjoy being around at work
• Social Well Being
•  Spend six hours per day socializing with friends, family and colleagues
• Strengthen mutual connections in your network
• Mix social time with physical activity
• Financial Well Being
• Buy experiences, not material possessions
• Spend on others instead of yourself
• Establish 'default systems' to lessen daily worry
• Physical Well Being
• Get a minimum of 20 minutes of physical activity per day, preferably in the morning
• Sleep enough to feel rested (7-9 hours) but not too much
• Set positive defaults when you grocery shop, focus on buying foods that are red, green or blue
• Community Well Being
• Identify how you can contribute to your community based on your personal mission
• Tell people about your passions/interests so they can connect with you on relevant groups/causes
• Opt into one community group or event, start small

There are some really great nuggets of knowledge that are contained in each chapter on each essential element.  It's a great read, and one I got pretty fired up about after reading it.  I'm not a voracious reader but this book ranks among the best I've read all time.

Off the top of my head here are the books that have resonated with me the most:

• A Whole New Mind
• Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten
• Sh*t My Dad Says
• It's All About the Bike
• Rich Dad Poor Dad
• The Richest Man in Babylon
• The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

What are the books off the top of your head that you feel are among the best you've ever read?

Well Being is a superb book and easy read that I highly recommend.  If you're into self help/actualization as much as I am, and perhaps even if you're not.  

The Warriors and the "Regular" Season

To be honest, I haven't thought a whole lot about the Warriors beating the Bulls regular season wins record.  I agree with you Brad, that things change.  And yet everyone is still following the "chase to beat the record."  Is it the same record if it's not the same basketball as it was when the Bulls were kings?  Perhaps I am a curmudgeon, because I'm "old school" in the sense that I think records should be incidental to the game, not the goal or focus of the game.  Just ask Gregg Popovich how he feels about records!  That's why he rested his "big three" for a Friday night prime time match up with the defending champions Miami Heat back in the day (and then got fined for it).  The Spurs were at the end of a long road stretch and didn't need the W - his starters needed rest.  No Ed, it doesn't make for good TV, but in that case I think it did make for an NBA championship.

Don't get me wrong - I am as much about entertainment value as the next guy.  One of the MYRIAD of things that irritate this curmudgeon is the I-like-NCAA-basketball-because-it's-more-fundamentally-sound speech.  I don't watch the NBA to watch lock-down defense and low-scoring affairs.  I like fast breaks, monster dunks, and downtown threes.

But let's get back to where the REAL money is in sports, and that's in post-season wins, and especially championships.  The Warriors have to know that if they don't take home the O'Brien trophy when it's all said and done, then in a couple of years no one will remember that they won 73 games.  The reason people remember the 96 Bulls is because they won the championship.  The Spurs have had 17 consecutive 50-win seasons.  You'll hear that mentioned occasionally, but not much.  Why?  Because it's not a championship.  The Warriors BETTER win it all.  I doubt that the two of you have to search very hard to find near-and-dear examples of excellent regular seasons that ended in forgettable fashion.

I will take a side trail for a moment to talk about something that you touched on Brad.  I actually LOVE the debates about players or teams from different generations and who is better.  And the reason is because they CANNOT be answered.  You guys have heard me mention before (probably) that human beings used to debate trivial things for hours and hours because there was no definitive answer handy.  That doesn't happen anymore.  If someone makes a comment like, "Notre Dame has won more football National Championships than Alabama has," then people could pass hours arguing about it.  But not anymore, thanks to Google and his cousin Siri, we can get a definitive answer almost instantaneously.  But those generational questions?  Well, no one will ever be able to answer those questions, and THAT is what makes it a fun discussion.

Scottie Pippen says that the '96 Bulls would sweep the Warriors.  So what do you think?

Ed on Warriors

Nice post Brad.  I agree with the generational comparisons and with the changes in the game that these comparisons don't do justice to how different the game really is.   I also agree that the greatest players from each generation are perfectly suited for playing the game in their generation - an insightful point.

I've told friends that the Warriors to me are the Spurs with more sugar and pizazz.  I didn't and don't like the Spurs, not because they aren't or weren't a great team, but because they were boring to watch. Sure, an occasional great pass or spectacular shot, but generally they just put the ball in the hole, played great defense and won lots of games.  As a spectator that doesn't benefit or lose from wins/losses, I want and prefer entertainment in addition to sound basketball.  That's the Warriors.  As you pointed out, the Warriors play team basketball, but in an exciting way that's tons more fun to watch than the Spurs.  My point is not to pick on the Spurs (sorry Marco), but rather, to praise the Warriors.

I'm a self-admitted fair-weather NBA fan but I must admit that because the Warriors are chasing the Bulls record I want to know if Golden State won nearly every night.  Checking my phone or ESPN to find out, and seeing the highlights of what they do to win basketball games.  It's exciting and fun even for someone who doesn't generally follow the NBA.  The Warriors chasing the record set by the Bulls in the Jordan era has been very good for ratings, the NBA, and fans.  Any time you can take one of the game's most iconic players (I was careful not to say greatest of all time!) and insert him into discussions about the current year's teams it is going to be a huge win.  

One further note, and comparison.  The 'my generation' Detroit Pistons also played team basketball that was exciting to watch.  They won lots of games and had a colorful cast of characters that played the game as a band of brothers.  But they were thugs and they prided themselves on that.  Another admirable element of the Warriors seems to be the way the players carry themselves ... on and off the court.

I read a story about Steph Curry being interviewed by Craig Sager following one of the Warriors wins (I'm fairly certain you both saw it as well so I won't attach it here) where Steph was asked about whether they should pursue the Bulls regular season record, or rest players in preparation for the playoffs. Given what Craig is wrestling with Curry had the perfect answer, "I mean, seeing you and what you're doing, we've got no excuses. Your an inspiration for us to just keep doing what we're doing, keep fighting, and that's the mentality that we have and it's kind of contagious, so thank you."

With that on and off court presence and mentality I don't think there are many people cheering against Steph Curry and the Warriors.  So I'm eagerly watching to see if they break the Bulls record, and their probability increases with every win.  I believe they will.  And if a record goes down by my beloved Bulls (I have the same admiration for those Bulls teams that you do Brad) then I hope it goes down at the hands of this Warriors team.

Fun to watch and full of class (from what I can tell) ... GO WARRIORS!

73 -9

I've been contemplating for the last couple months how I feel about the run of the Golden State Warriors this year. An increasingly prevalent story line for this incredible team has been their pursuit of the Bulls record wins in a season. 72-10 is the best 82 game record and occurred during the Bulls heyday when I was a huge fan of the team and Michael Jordan. It appears inevitable that this year's Warriors team will eclipse that record. How do I feel about that?

My initial perspective was that I didn't want them to beat the record. The Bulls were my team at the time that I played and was most interested in basketball. I want to remember that Bulls stretch as the best team in regular season history. But as I thought about it I found myself sounding like all those retired professional athletes that lament the game (not just basketball; baseball, football, etc.) that is played today, how pampered players are today, and how their teams would have kicked the teams of today's butts.

Here is the news flash to our father as well as the rest of the world: things change. Everything changes over a 20, 30, 50 year stretch. And just because it changes doesn't mean its bad, it doesn't mean the people involved aren't as good (as players or people), or that there is some nefarious conspiracy that favors current events. It simply means that things have changed.

In order to fill the void driven by 24 hour sports TV and radio, discussions about "the best players/teams of all time" and comparing players across generations have become necessary. The best 50 NBA players of all time. These are incredibly difficult comparisons and do an incredible injustice to all players or teams involved in the comparison. The game Julius Erving played was different than Rudy Tomjanovich, which is different than the game played by Michael Jordan, which is different than the game played by Kobe Bryant. I don't think Lebron would be as successful as he is today if he had to play in the 70s. And I don't think Jerry West would be nearly as successful if he had to play the game of today. Players and teams are a product of the game as it is played in their generation. They aren't better or worse, they are perfectly suited to the game that they played when they played it.

I'm not going to be one of those curmudgeons that wants my era of basketball to always be considered the best. The Bulls teams during the run led by Michael Jordan were the best of that era of basketball. And the current run of the Golden State Warriors is the best we are seeing in the game right now. I'm excited to see history, I hope they beat the Bulls 72-10 and I hope they win another NBA championship.

One other important component to me is that I like the Golden State team, I like their players, and I think they play the game the right way. It is a team sport and the reason they win is not because Stephen Curry is the best player in the NBA. They win because they play as a team. Curry is Jordan, Klay Thompson is Scottie Pippen, Draymond Green is Horace Grant. Andre Iguodala is Dennis Rodman. They've figured out how to put their egos and bank accounts aside and sacrifice just a little personal gratification to win the ultimate team prize. The San Antonio Spurs are the same way. And the Cleveland Cavaliers and Oklahoma City Thunder probably won't win an NBA title until their leaders learn the same lessons and are willing to make the same sacrifices.

Go Warriors!

Where did March go?

Didn't want March to slip into oblivion without a post from any of us.  And since I seem to have the most free time on my hands I thought I would pen a quick post. 

I know I've been too concerned with what I perceive as "strong content" before I'm willing to post. Well, sometimes just writing is better than nothing at all.

As Spring arrives with occasional bursts of Winter hanging on, I'm longing for warmer weather, outdoor activities and my next career opportunity.  The warmer weather and outdoor activity that are on tap for me include:

• Cycling, training for RAGBRAI
• Fishing
• Doing a 14er
• Lawn care

I'm really looking forward to RAGBRAI and spending a week with my two brothers on a trek across Iowa, with 20k of our closest friends.  The cycling is secondary to the time we spend together.

Fishing - I finally extended myself to find some nearby bass fishing here in Denver.  And to my pleasant surprise there are some lakes with pretty good bass populations in them.  I'm eager to try them out pre-spawn once the water warms a bit more.

The 14er is something I said I've wanted to do since I moved to Colorado.  I'm mixed on how much conditioning I need to have in order to do one.  I'm targeting one of the two easiest so I'm hoping that I'll be in good enough shape with my RAGBRAI training that I can do one with Haley and the boys without too much trouble this Summer.  

And the lawn.  A few weeks ago when it felt like Spring I raked and fertilized my back yard.  Blisters on my hands and a broken rake later I was happy to have manually dethatched my lawn for Spring. Since then we've had 16-20 inches of snow and my snowblower has been used a half dozen times while my lawnmower sits idle.  But I'm hoping that getting it down when I did will make for a quick recovery to a plush green lawn. 

I continue to pursue my next career move and have thoroughly enjoyed spending the increased down time with Holly and the boys.  But I'm also ready to get back at it, but am committed to being pragmatic about making sure the next opportunity is a better cultural fit than my last gig.  

So while I look out the window and blowing snow (we aren't supposed to get more than an inch or two) I'm eagerly looking forward to the warm 65-70 degree weather that is being forecasted for this coming weekend.  

Politics as usual

I really don't have much to add, we are oddly all on the same page on the current political climate. My attempted summary based on my thoughts would include:

1. What has our nation come to that so many people support such a degrading character like Donald Trump? Marc, I like the link you snuck in at the bottom from Max Lucado on decency.

2. Term limits are the only answer. Career politicians, regardless of affiliation, do not represent their constituency.

3. I will be voting for the other guy/gal if Trump wins the Republican nomination bar almost none. My only exception is if Kanye West wins the Democratic nomination.

4. The President is one of the few individuals that billions outside our country see as their frame of reference for the United States. He/she speaks for each of us, let's think about this during the electoral process.

That is all.

The problem with politicians

I'll be up front in saying that I think a lot of problems could be solved with term limits for politicians. I'm not even saying one term, but how about two?  I think that one of the very fundamental problems is that politicians make decisions based on one thing: reelection.  That's the ONLY filter.  Politics involves power and money, and if you manage to stay in office, you keep both.  So all politicians - democrats, republicans, independents, libertarians, green party, tea baggers, freedom party, modern whigs, communists, or transhumanists, they all have a single goal: STAY IN OFFICE.  And how do you do that?  Well, you lie, and you lie A LOT.  You have to tell people what they want to hear, whether it's true or not.  You can't be fiscally responsible, because sometimes that means de-funding good things, and you can't expect people to want to reelect you if you are taking money away from whatever is their special interest.  You have to keep lying, but if you can manage to stay in office, you get the perks of being a pseudo-movie star: free dinners, private planes, trips to exotic locations, people kissing your ass all the time, fancy hotels, and even the attention of real movie stars.

Trump is a train wreck.  I honestly cannot believe that there are people who still support him considering the stuff that comes out his mouth.  The latest one is claim of not wanting to condemn David Duke, an admitted racist, because he "doesn't know him."  He made the same claim for the KKK.  THIS is the guy who apparently a huge portion of America wants to be President?  I can't help but STILL believe in the depths of my soul that the nonsense will come to end in the general election.  I personally know a lot of people who have never voted anything but Republican that have said they will NOT vote from Trump.  I'm one of them.  I just won't.  It's a sad indication of our political environment when people are so divided by party that they will vote for ANY candidate from their chosen party rather than vote for someone else.  If Kim Kardashian won the Republican nomination, the hardcore Republicans would vote for her against ANY Democrat.  That's the sad state of affairs, and unfortunately (this is just my opinion) the Republicans have been getting their asses kicked for eight years (with no end in sight) so they love Trump for the sole reason that he pisses off the Democrats so much.  Is that what the standard is for a President these days?  The person who pisses off the other party the most??  It's just me, but I think that the Democrats LOVE Donald Trump, because he's going to make the general election a breeze for them.  The Republican Party is done.  It's what I honestly believe.  It's done.  I don't think it will ever recover, and you can thank Sarah Palin for that.

I'm embarrassed for our country.  I think we're the laughing stock of the world.  On a personal note, if Trump does win the Presidency, I'm not sure that I'll stick with my profession - he'll have us in four separate wars or more within three months of swearing in, and one of them might be a Southern neighbor (Mexico).  I think I'll be putting in papers to retire if he wins.

Is there no decency in our country?

Politics, God Help Us

Now I know I'm going into shark infested waters here, but this topic cannot be ignored and without some fodder. It's too big of a shit show.  So in advance I'm relying on two things to keep me from being eaten alive:

1. Only four people read this blog, so if I piss half of them off I will still have a higher approval rating than President Obama or either of the party front runners.

2. Both sides of the party line appear have 'trainwrecks' in their candidate list.  So it should be relatively easy to remain party neutral by expressing my sheer disgust and disappointment for both sides.

Can anybody be seriously excited about the next nine months in the political scene?  Anybody? I've never had so much interest in politics before which I can't exactly put my finger on (I'm getting older, I now have a child that can vote) but geez, the more you know about our political process the more grotesque and outrageously crazy it gets.  Makes any sane man or woman want to cover their eyes like a child and hope when they reopen them that it has all gone away.

Stating the obvious, this is the best America has to offer?  On both sides.  Really?  I would rather vote for my trusted neighbor or friend than any of these yahoos.  Really, I would. They aren't as experienced, definitely don't have as much money, but at least they could be trusted.  The existing political process rewards those who are rich (you have to have millions/billions to run for president), being vague (any straight answer will alienate you to some part of the voter population), lack of accountability (because the past is dissected for flaws and all that has gone wrong you need to keep your hands clean), and creating controversy and disgust about any other candidates position (being negative, and insulting all opposers). That recipe didn't work in grade school, and it doesn't work in Washington.  

So what's it coming down to for me?  TRUST.  CHARACTER. VALUES.

Who do I trust.  Who do I feel will represent this country admirably.  And yes, there are a few political must have's when it comes to the issues.  But really, it's trust.

So who in the candidate list on either side holds up to this assessment?  None of them. Trump? Are you fricking kidding me?! Cruz? Rubio? Nope. Sanders? Clinton? Nope again.  They all take a back seat to my brothers, my neighbor and even my dog.

So what's a guy to do?

Well one thing I would like to propose is a battery of psychological and cognitive tests for all presidential candidates.  IQ, yep.  MBTI, yes. Strategic thinking, yes again.  Heck, even a lie detector test would be pretty cool.  Results would be fully disclosed to the public.  Hmmm, wouldn't that be interesting!  

Beyond that I'm not sure, but admittedly my eyes remain glued to the TV.  Why?  Because it's like a train wreck, a lesser of evils, who will do or say something stupid next! And it's the election to the most powerful position in the world!  With enough rope any of these folks will hang themselves. The one likely to be our next president is the one who can avoid that fate. Yikes.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I love America.  I LOVE AMERICA. It's easy to right?  Greatest country in the world, hands down.  Ask most any American, where would you rather live and raise your family.  Crickets.  But ask others from any other foreign country.  You're likely to get the same answer. Excepting the fact that their country of origin is HOME, I suspect the answer would be AMERICA, over and over again.  In spite of all the issues, challenges, etc. we face as a country it's still the best country in the world.  So don't get me wrong, I love America and always will.  But geez, we sure are putting on a spectacle for the world to see!  And it's messy, not pretty and I'm not proud of it.

And yet, we must rely on politicians to change it.  We can't as voters and citizens of the USA.  Nope, we need to elect those who we believe want to, and can change it.  And that may be the saddest story of all.  Election and political reform can and should be at the heart of the debates, and on the hearts and minds of most Americans.  But unfortunately its taken a back seat to other issues such as fiscal policy, immigration reform, and the strengths of our military.

May God Bless America (and help us) come November ... and in the meantime I open this discussion up to more creative suggestions, debate and dialogue, and of course the fodder ... amongst our large and diverse readership.

Ok, GO!  

Turning Your Severance into a Sabbatical, or at least a productive professional gap in employment

In today’s world if haven’t been laid off or made redundant, then either you haven’t been in the workforce very long, you own your own business, or you just haven’t done enough progressive and ground-breaking work to have been put on ‘the list’. 

From my experience those who most often end up on ‘the list’ are those who are highly paid, are change agents who have worn out their welcome, have worked themselves out of a job, or are just plain jerks.  Sometimes it’s all of the above. Non-performers also sometimes end up on these lists, but I would generally say these people either get fired or quit before they get fired.  However, some companies opt to lay off poor performers rather than address non-performance head on.

So you made the list and you’ve been issued your severance.  Anywhere from a month or two to maybe twelve months, depending on position title and level.  Ok, so now what? 

Job search? Most certainly yes!

Thoughtful reflection about what you could have done differently? Maybe.

But ANXIETY about what your future holds? Yeah, heaps of it. 

After all, you’re officially unemployed and have bills to pay. The severance extended by the company, while nice, won’t last very long.  You’re thinking that your job search quite possibly could exceed the time and money you’ve been given in severance and you haven’t been as diligent as you would like to be about saving for these rainy days.  So several emotions seep in to your psyche … ANGER, DOUBT, FEAR, WORRY, and even DEPRESSION. 

I’ve been there, multiple times. 

Given this new-found ‘opportunity’ to pursue new horizons here’s my advice for staying positive and doing what you need to do, while avoiding the traps of negativity and doing what can get you in a rut, creating an avalanche and burden of damaging and destructive emotions that will keep you from landing that next great professional opportunity.

First the DO’s

• Reflect - Take time to think about what you want to do (what will make you happy), not just want you need to do or have been doing.  This ‘opportunity’ affords you the time to commit to reflection much more robustly than if you were working.
• Take care of yourself – Get a good night’s rest, eat better and exercise more regularly.  Again, you don’t have the excuse of not having the time so make sure you do better in each of these three areas.  You’ll be accomplishing something and it will keep your head where it needs to be – clear and focused thinking.
• Network/Volunteer – Invest time making contact with those who you just didn’t have time to connect with before.  Join professional groups, reach out to colleagues from previous employers, and connect with those in the community that can support you in your job/career search.  Church is a great outlet for this, so are school or community organizations you have always wanted to invest more of your time with. You gotta get out of your house and away from the computer screen.  It’s a must. 
• Keep a schedule – When you’ve got a job you have a routine and schedule.  Now that you don’t have that job, you don’t need a schedule right?  Wrong. Create a ‘to do’ list and make sure you make progress against it every day.  It’s ok if it’s a mix of professional and personal, but make sure it has professional actions that you must take to make progress in your search.
• Dress for your day – It’s easy to fall into the trap of putting on sweats, a t-shirt and a baseball hat every day.  After all, the dog doesn’t care and it’s appropriate attire for taking him on a walk.  But when you dress like you’re going to work you feel better, and you’re more likely to have appointments during the day that require work attire.  And all that’s good for you and your psyche.

Now the DON’Ts

• Spend all day on your computer – On the surface this sounds productive. Know what’s going on in your profession, checking out various job sites, applying electronically for jobs.  But the reality is that this isn’t the way most people get jobs.  Utilizing your network to identify a contact in a target company and speaking with them via phone or face to face is a much more probable way for you to get your next job.
• Keep strange hours – Going to bed late, sleeping in and keeping odd hours means you’re less connected to those who are keeping more traditional work schedules.  Keeping a normal schedule will keep you connected to those you need to be connected with.
• Isolate yourself – It’s sometimes embarrassing or awkward interacting with others when you have to share that you don’t have a job and are ‘in transition’ while everyone else is living their life.  “Oh, you’re not working?  I’m so sorry.”  No one wants this pity party, nor do they want that awkward “so what are you doing?” question to arise.  But limiting your contacts because of these uncomfortable moments is the opposite of what you really need.  Rehearsing and addressing these challenging questions is the best way to get really good at your answers, something you’ll need when talking to prospective new employers about job openings.
• Obsess about your job search – If your job search is all you think about, you’ll get emotionally tight.  You won’t be any fun to be around, and others will notice that something is different about you.  You’ll stress yourself out, your family and all those who want to help you.  Prospective employers will feel and see the desperation, and that’s not attractive.  So enjoy your weekends, take time with your family and friends, and attempt to keep the same pattern/regimen that you had when you were working. 

In full disclosure I haven’t always been able to follow my own advice.  Certainly not all of the time. But when I did follow it I was the most positive and employable, and when I didn’t follow it I was the most negative, and unemployable.  So if you strive for what I've suggested above and you fall off the wagon, pull yourself up and get back on.  That’s how it works. 

These tips are intended to help you manage the emotional swings that are inevitable when a person goes through job loss. I've found no prescription for avoiding these emotional swings all together. There are lots of other really important and practical tips for getting another job - like putting together a solid job search plan, writing a good resume, improving your interviewing skills, and business networking. 

But none of this will matter if you aren’t exuding a positive personal energy, if your head isn’t in the right place, or your emotions aren’t in check.

Be positive, and good luck during your ‘in transition’ period.  With these tips you can ensure that you'll bring to your next role the full breadth of all that is positive within you, and leave in the rear view mirror any baggage of being let go or separated from what will now just be a journal entry on your resume to professional success.